Reply to Feeling resentful after sacrificing for my DH’s career

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Reply to "Feeling resentful after sacrificing for my DH’s career—how to restore balance?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not to derail this, but when are we going to stop teaching our daughters to take less lucrative careers? It feels like these situations are always the product of marriages where the man’s earning power, based on what they do for a living, is so much greater. If one person stays at home it’s not going to be the $1 million plus earner, if there’s just one of those. It’s not the values driving the decision, it’s just the economics. [/quote]

All of this

- Mother of a future physician [/quote]

I hate to break it to you ladies, but being a high earning woman comes with its own set of problems. You are still expected to be the primary parent by everyone, your promotions are often delayed due to pregnancy and maternity leave, and it’s a lot harder to climb the financial ladder. If you teach your daughters to pursue a lucrative career, you must simultaneously teach them to choose in an egalitarian partner who understands that family responsibilities are shared. Most men are not like this, even if they are good guys. She can have a great career but with the wrong partner she will end up remaining single, or paying alimony to an ex. Ask me how I know. Not saying it’s not possible to have a high earning career and a great home life, but it requires fairly laser-focused strategy.

- Female physician and mom[/quote]

I agree with all of this.  My sister told me that her daughter told her that she thought she was gay, and my sister’s first thought was “I hope so.  Maybe this means she will actually get to have a career.”

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