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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t think I’m being entitled by having my mom help babysit my kids. My mother had six kids, and doesn’t see child care as some hard & difficult task. She loves it, my kids are very well behaved and they have a lot of fun.  She’s financially well-off and has done things for me over the years, and she expects me to do the same for her. She expects me to obey her, listen to her, and not talk back—even as a grown adult. She’ll berate and yell at me, and sometimes even do things like slap my arm or pull my hair or grab a towel and throw it at me, like I’m still a child. So honestly, this feels like the least she could do to help.

I also don’t see why I should pay her, especially when she’s well-off and has told me to just keep any money I offer.

To be clear, I just got off the phone with her. I told her I was sorry for disrespecting her. She’s on the plane. I actually told her she didn’t need to watch the kids anymore. I said I could find someone else. She immediately pushed back and said, “No, no—I want to.” She sees not as withholding. I asked her multiple times if she was sure, and she kept insisting that she really does want to continue watching them. So this isn’t something I’m forcing—she genuinely wants to do it.

Right now, the schedule works like this: I wake up and take my two older kids to school, then drop the two younger ones off with her at 10ish. She watches them until about 3:30. My 7-year-old gets home on the bus, and my 5-year-old is in afternoon preschool and gets brought home by a close friend. This usually happens  three days a week. Occasionally, she’ll also help on Saturdays (maybe every 3–4 weeks), and when my husband and I travel or need a weekend, she’ll keep the kids for that too.

I don’t trust daycares or nannies, and since we have family around, I’d much rather have them help. I also don’t want to sacrifice my career, and neither does she want me to sacrifice my career. [b]I work from home on the days I don’t have childcare[/b], so realistically I could even limit in-office days to just two days a week if needed—I really only need childcare for work.

So I talked to her about adjusting the schedule to make things more balanced. She still doesn’t agree with this, but since I want into give her breaks, I think it’s fair. Instead of my mom doing multiple weekdays regularly, we could split things up more. For example, my MIL—who also loves spending time with the kids and has them today—could take some of the weekdays, and my mom could take the others. On weekends or overnights, they could divide things up as well (like each taking two kids), or alternate weekends depending on what works best. If needed, my siblings or sibling in laws could also help occasionally when they’re free and I need support.

I’m not forcing anyone into this, but it feels like a fair system. The way I see it, I do things for my mom, she does things for me, she’s my mother and I’m her daughter so we both have duties—it works for us. It might not be how other families operate, but it’s what works for ours. I feel like family is supposed to help each other, and I’m trying to make things easier and more balanced for everyone.

Thoughts?[/quote]

Now we know you're a troll. No employer would allow you to provide childcare during working hours. Nice try. [/quote]

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