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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, update. So my younger cousin is home from school visiting, and we talked, and I told her everything that was said here. She still thinks she’s capable of finding that kind of man. I told her she needs to be more independent (like driving), and she said she’ll think about it and work on it later, when she actually needs to. She doesn’t really see the need to drive right now, but says if it becomes necessary in the future—like when she has kids and needs to handle school activities or emergencies—then she’ll learn. That’s mainly why she hasn’t prioritized it so far.

I also feel like I may have made her sound kind of helpless and bland, isn’t really accurate. She’s actually great with kids, very smart, self-aware, and aware of what’s going on around her and in the world. She’s always done really well in school too (4.0). She’s not clueless at all—she just lacks motivation when it comes to working or pursuing a career. The shyness is just part of her personality. She also doesn’t really have specific hobbies like yoga, sports, etc., but she is busy with school—she reads more in-depth material and does a lot of writing which she enjoys. Most of her time is spent doing schoolwork and spending time with family, so she’s not just wasting time. As for life skills like cooking and cleaning, she’s perfectly capable once she learns—she just didn’t have much experience before but is starting to learn now. She’s been asking me what kinds of meals men typically like, and I’ve been helping her learn how to cook—she’s actually doing really well with it.

You guys might assume, based on her age, that she’d be interested in someone her own age, but she’s actually very set on finding an older, more established man. She’s still very hopeful and set on this. She’s 21, a junior in college, and specifically interested in an older, more established man (she said up to ~15 years older but not much beyond that). She’s not really interested in guys her own age due to finances and just thinks they’re too young.

Her main question now is where she would even meet someone like this—like specific cities, places, or settings where older, established men tend to be. Are there certain apps, social scenes, or environments where this is more common? She says she’s willing to put in the effort to make it happen.[/quote].

She needs to re adjust her expectations. She sounds like she could be competitive in the world of second wives to men in the throws of a midlife crisis. So she needs to target unhappily married men in their mid 40s to mid 50s. Higher level executives, engineers, etc. She might do well I'm that arena. She sounds like the younger, prettier and probably less promiscuous second wife of a man whose wedding I attended. (Wow was that a trainwreck of a wedding. So much alcohol. So many people flew in internationally. Really obvious the bride had no friends, guest list mainly consisted of groom's international business friends. Bride's father gave a speech about how he used to take her to nude beaches as a child. Bride's guest list consisted of a couple of random men she'd had flings at with the gym, and the 2 or 3 women she knew who she felt were less attractive than bride.) As I recall second wife scored her husband by joining an expensive handball club that mainly catered to older male executives in the c suite. She'd show up in spandex and hang out all day always looking for someone to split court time with her. She'd also willingly hop naked into the Jacuzzi with any man who could pay her bar bill. She had 4-7 non starters (or guys who came to their senses and decided to buy a boat as a mid life crisis instead) but she finally maneuvered one into divorcing his first wife and marrying her. She seems to be clinging to the relationship, and 7 years later seems as happy as she's ever been. Ironically the cast off starter wife is still the object of screaming ire. Mainly because wife number one took the settlement money, leaned hard into her career, and as a solo woman now has a better economic standard of living than ex and new wife. To be fair crazy naked hot to woman is a great cook and, according to dear old dad's cringe worthy wedding speech, has an amazing collection of lingerie. She was also very strategic. Also had a degree from a prestigious if not quite Harvard level school.[/quote]

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