Reply to Failure to Launch Daughter Is Unemployed and Blaming Me for All of Her Problems

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "Failure to Launch Daughter Is Unemployed and Blaming Me for All of Her Problems "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]assuming you're not a troll for a second-- you sound like you are a very rigid thinker- which I'm guessing your daughter likely is too given she has ADHD (and ADHD is hereditary so wouldn't be surprised if you also have it).  [/b]

Rigidity is extremely contagious-- if her entire childhood she was told there's one right way to be (christian, church going, in tech, thin, etc). and everything else is bad, then of course she's going to feel like crap if she doesn't fit your mold, and likely will get more rigid in response in her own choices.  sounds like your son fits your mold perfectly, and therefore you get along and therefore you apparently give him stuff as he thinks you are generous.

guessing most of us do not meet your narrow idea of the one way to be successful- we're not all in tech, thin, don't all go to church, etc. i of course know many English majors with successful careers- one obese, one who studies weight stigma for a living :)

The economy is crap in 2026. i can think of multiple friends who are highly educated with decades of experience (e.g. phd, JD from ivy league schools, etc) thanks to doge and related layoffs who have been out of work for nearly a year.  and i can also think of a family member who graduated from an ivy with a CS degree in 2020 unemployed.  Fortunately they all have supportive families who are there to help them, not shame them- if that's help them financially a bit to get some basic toiletries (hard to get a job if you smell bad, or can't get to the the interview without a car).

you are very lucky to be so high earning-- guessing most of us don't make 600k a year- i'd use that to help support your daughter. [b] i'm frankly 40 something with a successful career, marriage, beautiful house, and two kids and my parents still pay for my cell phone plan and other things.  They certainly helped furnish my first apt when making well under 30k while working at the nih post undergrad.  you seem to be very fixated that you dislike her life choices and therefore cutting her off from support.[/b]  [/quote]

No one else in our family has ADHD. And DD does not have autism (confirmed by 2 neuropsych evals, as mentioned earlier in the thread).

I think it's absolutely pathetic that you're still relying on your parents for your cell phone plan, or for money at all for that matter. I definitely don't think a 22 year-old fresh out of college who makes minimum wage working at the NIH (a similar situation to what DD is in) should rely on their parents for money at all.

Yes, DH and I strongly dislike her life choices. But that's not the reason we cut her off financially -- regardless of where she went to school or what she majored in, we would've never supported her financially after she graduated. Remember, DS has an excellent relationship with us, and we never paid for a penny of his living expenses after he graduated college. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics