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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.[/quote]

Yikes.  WHY? [/quote]

We’re religious.[/quote]

You can still practice religion with fewer kids.  [/quote]

Yes, but we can afford having a lot of kids so why not.[/quote]

Both of my parents are among the youngest kids in huge Catholic families (7+ kids). They both experienced a ton of parental neglect that came home to roost when they became parents. Older siblings are not good substitutes for actual parents, as they are children themselves. They often reinforce childish beliefs and fears, can be emotionally abusive because they aren't mature enough to be parenting, etc. My parents would have been much better off with real love and guidance from their actual parents, but they barely knew them. Yes they have some find memories of very full houses, big and boisterous family dinners, and have some great and close relationships with siblings. But the were not sufficiently *parented*. Kids from smaller families, IMO, tend to be more emotionally mature and developed, have a better sense of themselves and their role, have deeper and more reliable self confidence. Kids from very large families seem needy, because they are needy --they needed things growing up that they simply never got.[/quote]

I also come from a big family (13 children) and didn’t experience any neglect. Our kids do get 1-1 time and our older kids don’t help parent at all.[/quote]

What do you consider 1-1 time?   Whose helping?   [/quote]

We take the kids out individually 1-1.

We have nannies, housekeeper, a chef, and my MIL also helps us a lot.[/quote]

This doesn’t place the place of parents. Taking a kid out once per month 1:1 isn’t great parenting.  You can’t give 8 kids daily parental attention.[/quote]

DP, but I think you’re making a lot of assumptions. I was one of four, and my mom absolutely gave us all enough individual attention. Talk to one kid while getting ready, chat with another while making dinner, talk with another at bedtime, take another out for a late night errand. She had endless capacity.  Also, kids need different levels of attention. I’m surprised this hasn’t been mentioned. Some kids are needier than others, and at some times more than others in their childhood.

Also my husband was one of 7 and is a mentally healthy, extremely successful, model father. He loved his big family! He has a great relationship with siblings and parents.  Good, happy families come in many sizes. :) [/quote]

That’s not really 1-1 time.  [/quote]

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