Reply to 19 year gap - Will everything be okay?

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[quote=Anonymous]OK, I am going to be totally honest here that OP I would get yourself a pscyh evaluation- just to weed out if you are thinking with a clear head, have any daddy issues, or other issues. Spend a year in therapy-- take an emotional "gap month" for yourself-- don't break up, but just maybe go on a solo trip if you can, be alone and think what you really want.

None of us can say what to do.

For me, I am married to a man 10 year older and I can already feel him turn extremely grumpy as he gets older, and he will be 70 when my youngest graduates from high school.  The caretaker risk is real, my friend.

I am on my second marriage, was married to someoene my own age previously, and he was absolutely immature and it was a terrible marriage.

So, I would take with a grain of salt the commenters that say the men who are older must be immature to be with you, 20 years younger. There are plenty of immature men your own age too....

I would say this:at 27, you may not realize your power, or thestakesof your choices.THat isabout the age when I married for the first time.You feel 30 approaching. You want to settle down. Take some time to really assess-- a gap month or a gap year-- emotionally-- life is not a conveyor belt, you can't produce a house and kids and marraige on time always....

You love him, you say-- maybe you do-- but is there any part of that love that is tied to stability nurturing,orsomething you lacked within yuour own family history at home?I had a lot of trauma growing up, nad I don'tthink I realized it at 27.....dig a bit deeper....Good luck!! There is no right or wrong answer here, claim your agency and what YOU want.[/quote]

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