Reply to What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have the opposite feeling. I wonder why a parent would not want to let their child try something new whether that be ice hockey or ballet or swim.

We are on the upper end of achieving as a family. We work hard and play hard. We know many people who don’t work that hard or maybe just unsuccessful, don’t try hard and don’t do much at all. Shrug. They probably look at us and don’t envy us either. [/quote]

Perhaps your attitude is why many of us see overscheduling as a negative. Many families in this area have virtually no unscheduled or downtime. The line between balanced and over or underscheduled varies for every family. But I agree with PP’s who mentioned that the ability to entertain oneself and also socialize in unstructured settings seems to be an undervalued skill. So many studies have shown the relationship between boredom or daydreaming and creativity/problem solving. It is a skill to have a free day and figure out how to structure and fill your time - also how to meet new people in informal settings or without adult oversight/structure. It is striking to me the amount of college students who are posting on social media about how they have no friends/are alone/want to go home. I can’t tell the degree to which social media amplifies the phenomena, but when I went to college I was homesick and knew other kids who were homesick, but it was basically a given that we were meeting new people and finding our way socially. It did not seem as overwhelming as many young people today seem to find it and I’m not sure why, unless they are socializing less?[/quote]

I agree with this alot, but what do you mean by underscheduled?[/quote]

I just mean, I think both sides can have valid points. Structured activities or sports can develop group social skills, build perseverance, teach how to overcome setbacks, etc. the same way unstructured time and social opportunities develop other skills and abilities. So I think having too many structured activities can create the same imbalance as having none or too few (though underscheduled is less common given the nature of school days and limited free time). It also varies by kid - I have one very social, active kid who enjoys sports and loves any activity he can participate in with friends. We sign him up for more activities than his brother who loves creating stories and music, and really enjoys unstructured time after school to recharge from the school day. And they both are working on different things - my social kid can struggle to entertain himself if no one wants to play a game or talk to him, so we make a point of giving him an hour or two on the weekend to find something to do while we are doing chores/running errands/etc.; my other kiddo often balks at opportunities for clubs/activities outside of school, so we have a standard of exercise/sport, music and another club or activity each term (depending on what else he has going on) and he has begun to point out that he enjoys signing up for activities and still finds the time to have his free time. It feels like a balance because we also have family in the area that we make time to see and my husband and I have our own lives; some seasons we feel burned out and others we regret not trying new things for one kid or the other. I dont know if our kids ever feel over scheduled; maybe it’s just the grownups! [/quote]

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