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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She should immediately write a letter of apology to the girl she bullied. Or call her or text her, whatever. It is important that she apologize profusely to that girl and tell her how wrong she was.[/quote]

No, it is actually important that she not speak to that girl unless the girl herself requests some kind of reconciliation.

The apology you are talking about is a punishment for OP's daughter, not any kind of repair with the girl who was bullied.

I support an essay of some kind reflecting on what was wrong about the situation and what OP's daughter should have done / should do if she's in the situation again, but all these suggestions about contacting the girl who was bullied or her parents directly are tonedeaf. If your bully daughter called my traumatized child to apologize, I'd have a pretty hard time not telling her to take her bully friends' terrible advice and hanging up, and I'd absolutely wonder what kind of parent allows a bully to call their victim with a pretend apology.[/quote]

[b]I'm sorry, but it's important to say you're sorry, like it or not, sincere or not.[/b] OF COURSE she has to apologize.[/quote]

The irony here is stunning. You definitely care more about a performance apology than sincerity, since you started this comment with "I'm sorry, but..." which is the top of the insincere apology list. Why do you not think that the performance of the apology is more important than the sincerity?[/quote]

Much of what we do is performative. That's why we teach the rules to children. If it's fine for the victim to not want to hear or accept an apology, is it also fine for the bully to say, hell now I'm not apologizing. Not if the bully were my kid. They would be apologizing. If the victim were my kid, they woujld be learning to hear and accept an apology. That's their job as a member of society, which is built on the judeo-christian tradition of repentance forgiveness.[/quote]

The problem is the situation is “resolved” in the eyes of the administrators. The fake apology issued, the victim goaded into “hearing and accepting,” and the bully picks right back up where they left off. How about some real consequences? Suspensions and expulsions are appropriate and rarely handed out because heaven forbid the bully and their family face real consequences.[/quote]

Who said the apology was the only consequence?[/quote]

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