Reply to Did anyone's kid choose quality of life/social factors over prestige?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Go where you are happy.  But why assume prestige schools don't offer quality of life?[/quote]

It's no secret that several "prestige" schools are hyper-competitive, cut-throat places. Wasn't like that in the 90s but sure is now. The anxiety level of many of these kids is off the charts. It's real![/quote]

Hyper competitive yet the average student will graduate with a 3.8.  Not fully buying it.[/quote]

Hyper competition is a way of life for some kids, regardless of how plentiful and well-distributed the rewards (including a 3.8 gpa).

If the average is a 3.8, this cohort will battle each other for the 3.95 or 4.0 - it’s just who they are and how they do things. Huge focus on external markers of success, relative to their environment, not necessarily common sense. “Average” is not good enough for them, even if technically, it is.

We all know kids like that in our DCs’ high schools. Put them all together in a single college setting, and it can be miserable for kids who are not like that.

The more chill kids who seek a broader college experience and are fine with their 3.8 are not going to find much social or emotional connection or community with the gunners who don’t have that same perspective.

I know this because my high school DC is the former type (it’s all relative … 3.98 and “only” 11 APs instead of 15). They have absolutely nothing in common socially/personally with that cohort of kids, other than the fact that learning and school comes very easily to them. DC would be MISERABLE at a college where they’re the kids who set the vibe, even if DC knew they could pretty easily graduate with a 3.8 ….

[/quote]

OP here.  Thank you for this very thoughtful post.  I think it accurately depicts my daughter.  She inserted herself into the 3.98+ gunner game through high school but it's not really who she is at her core or how she thrives.  She is leaving high school a bit scarred and exhausted.  Certainly not energized. I have no doubt that she will do what is expected of her at the next level.  If she was to go to MIT she'd contort herself into that world too---and do whatever homework was needed, join her classmates in competing for XYZ research opportunities, clubs, etc.  But I really don't think it's where she's happiest. Frankly, I don't think it (this hypercompeitive world in elite academics) is the best fit for most of the kids who find themselves there. It is for some--no doubt.  They would be bored and unhappy with anything less. But not all. [/quote]

OP, your daughter got into UVA from out of state. That is no easy feat.  She will be entering an excellent school at least on second base. I think it’s a perfect fit for the way you have described her.[/quote]

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