Reply to Why do we tolerate trash talking and elitism as "boys will be boys" behavior?

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "Why do we tolerate trash talking and elitism as "boys will be boys" behavior?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I see it too and I don’t get it. I am raising my boy to be kind and empathetic but I feel like many other parents are teaching their kids to be jerks. Even among so called “progressive” families we are witnessing the creation of bullies and aggressive/selfish behavior that is shocking but not corrected.[/quote]

How old is your boy? I’m doing the same and he was bored for his kindness by several teachers. The school environment matters too. We switched from an inclusive small school to a top public and DS has brought home so much slang and jerky one upping behavior. We model and talk about kindness at home, but he is at school for 7 hours a day around this stuff. Also shocked at language and attitudes on kids TV shows. We no longer watch tv. [/quote]

Do you really want to get it or do you want to not get it?

If you don’t want to get, it no amount of explanation will help you. Also not wanting to get it will drive a wedge between you and the others in your community.

If you want to get it, ask the other parents in an open non-judgmental way. You will be able to have better conversations than here.

For example, if you were to ask me, I would tell you that I have no problem with slang. Kids saying I’m cooked to their friends or in their family is not mean or rude to me. I would tell them not to talk to their pastor that way.[/quote]

That’s not bad at all.   It’s the mean spirited insults that are masked as “roasting” that are the problem.  It normalizes trading insults if done at a young age.   I don’t want those type of kids.   [/quote]

Yes it’s the fact that this all begins as kids begin to mask in all ways that makes this hard.

Kids pretend they’re not hurt when they are. They pretend that they’re being funny when they’re being mean. Girls can sometimes be atrocious with regard to the pretending to be nice while being mean in a way that’s absolutely horrific.

It’s also why it’s so important to parent our own kids as well as also focus on the kids. When we jump in with our own feelings instead of focusing on the kids, it backfires. Kids get confused or hide their roasting or it builds distrust with adult figures.

If instead, we teach our kids to recognize when they’re feeling hurt and how to manage it, it’s more likely our kids will be more successful.

Also if we learn to teach our kids to recognize their insecurities, defensiveness, desire to retaliate, even feelings of injustice (he did it first!) etc, we’re much more likely to raise kind kids.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics