Reply to Why do we tolerate trash talking and elitism as "boys will be boys" behavior?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I see it too and I don’t get it. I am raising my boy to be kind and empathetic but I feel like many other parents are teaching their kids to be jerks. Even among so called “progressive” families we are witnessing the creation of bullies and aggressive/selfish behavior that is shocking but not corrected.[/quote]

How old is your boy? I’m doing the same and he was bored for his kindness by several teachers. The school environment matters too. We switched from an inclusive small school to a top public and DS has brought home so much slang and jerky one upping behavior. We model and talk about kindness at home, but he is at school for 7 hours a day around this stuff. Also shocked at language and attitudes on kids TV shows. We no longer watch tv. [/quote]

Do you really want to get it or do you want to not get it?

If you don’t want to get, it no amount of explanation will help you. Also not wanting to get it will drive a wedge between you and the others in your community.

[b]If you want to get it, ask the other parents in an open non-judgmental way. You will be able to have better conversations than here.[/b]

For example, if you were to ask me, I would tell you that I have no problem with slang. Kids saying I’m cooked to their friends or in their family is not mean or rude to me. I would tell them not to talk to their pastor that way.[/quote]

Ask them WHAT? I would love to hear how you would phrase this. Be specific. Getting out the popcorn. [/quote]

I’m laughing at this since I have boys in middle and high school. I’m on this forum bc I also have an elementary aged daughter. You don’t really contact other parents about this type of banter once kids are older than age 6-7, maybe not even then. You parent your own kid.

I know the post is about 9 year olds. Wait until the kids hit the tween/teen years. Everything will be 10x worse.

Most parents don’t want their kids to be jerks and trash talk. What parent wants their kids to be the jerk? In any athletic setting, there is trash talking. If your kid is actually good at the sport, he shouldn’t care. I can see this affecting a child who already may have low self esteem. It is only going to get worse, much worse.[/quote]

So if a kid is not “good at the sport” then they deserve to be mocked? That is bad behavior. Period. No amount of justification will change that. Kids who are not great at sports deserve to be treated with respect just like anyone else does. A child should not be shunned from group activities just because they are slower or possibly have a disability. If you are not teaching that to your kids then you are a part of the problem. [/quote]

Ugh. We’ve been through this. Kids who are terrible at sports who get made fun of it by their friends who know them are different from kids who want to be great at sports and get made fun of by kids he doesn’t know.

My son is the latter. He doesn’t make fun of himself to fit in. He genuinely does not care. It’s genuinely very funny. He’s one of the brightest kids in his friend group, but he’s terrible at sports. His friends know not to make fun of other things that he is sensitive about.

Parent your own kid. Teach them to find good friends who respect him. Teach him to be respectful of others. But don’t make blanket statements about sports being so important no kid is can be known as being a poor athlete. Sports is one part of life. It’s ok to be bad at it.[/quote]

*former[/quote]

Also this is why parents should butt out sometimes. They don’t know the kids. Butt in when your own feels hurt, but butt out when everyone is having fun and no one feels hurt.[/quote]

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