Reply to Great guy but sex is mediocre

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal. [/quote]

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe. [/quote]

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent  innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much about what other women enjoy [/quote]

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...[/quote]
Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?[/quote]

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?[/quote]
You’re the one that’s raging.[/quote]

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to  experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman. [/quote]

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.[/quote]

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

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DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.[/quote]

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

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I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur. [/quote]

Without your own  sex therapist license number and proven stats you are just polluting the air here with empty statements and personal accusations [/quote]

That's why we have statistics https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/202406/why-do-people-begin-exploring-bdsm

And you appear to be doing the same, and it's even worse since no one asked about your very lackluster and depressing sound sexual life, but you want to talk about it nonetheless, despite everything sounding grim and depressing. [/quote]

And? First , it’s just a study from two universities not something widely recognized. Second, the conclusion of the article you’ve shared is that people who incorporate it in their bedroom largely find it satisfying . You claims are that it’s violent, non-committal, exploitative  and rigid.

“ This study shows that however people begin playing with elements of BDSM, they often find it sufficiently powerful, seductive, and compelling to continue that kind of erotic play.”
[/quote]

The conclusion is that it's influenced by the rise in porn, lol. Which is deeply embarrassing. Again, many BDSMers are just lame porn addicts or CSA survivors who havent worked through their trauma. You wanted stats, there they are. There is nothing transgressive about a sexual style that marches in lockstep with popular culture and traditional cultural values- rather it's stale and boring. A lot of these people have just watched way too much porn, to the point where they have to play out these scenes from movies rather than being authentically involved with their partners. [/quote]

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