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[quote=Anonymous]Op, with your comment “ how is that fair” is the problem. Fairness does not have relevance here. People are allowed to have any combination of friend groups they want. Haven’t you?

You need to change your outlook quickly as you have just set-up a dynamic where now that mother ( and possibly others) are going to think you are high- maintenance or a bit odd and definitely not encourage their children to play with your dd. Not in a mean way but just too much drama. You have potentially fulfilled a prophecy where now your dd will be invited even less often.

I am not sure how old you are or how old your dd. I have children in college and in my 50s so perhaps a generational thing but you need to stay out of your children’s relationships. These friends may come and go, cycle back, but they will definitely change in some form.

You need to understand that even if all get along it’s normal for sub-friend groups to form. Therefore, Your dd needs more than just one friend/close friend.

YOU should not have let her approach the other child as you as the adult knew what was happening.

I had a dc who always wanted to play with his friend right off the bus. However, I knew that mother did not like that as she was very “ play date at this time and this date” I reminded my child everyday for an entire year not to ask if they could play afterschool, and that our plans were x and x with that family.

Back to your dd….Once she figured out she was not invited it was your job to acknowledge her feelings, explain that sometimes friends are going to do things with others, and we may not always be included.

Then, you move on. Invite someone else, make cookies, go to library.  You do not tell another parent your child was hurt by not being included.

If your child is being physically or verbally bullied then of course say something. You don’t say anything about hurt feelings when be excluded in that manner![/quote]

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