Reply to Harsh comment on being a Sahm

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, teenagers aren’t very subtle but it is a valid question. Why do you need to be at home all day and not at work? It isn’t the 1950s. Hire a cleaner and order everything like groceries, etc. [/quote]

Because your identity and value as a human being is not, and should not, be tied to paid work. Drill that into your thick head.
[/quote]

She’s a dependent, just like her kids. Not a good look for an educated adult who is perfectly capable of working but would rather play tennis. [/quote]

If the things she is doing are worth paying someone for, like cooking, cleaning, driving the kids, then she is not a dependent. She is doing unpaid work. Not to mention the amount you would have to pay for all of that would likely exceed what a moderate to moderately high earner would earn.

You are sick person if you would deprive someone who does unpaid work a couple of hours of relaxation time or resources for themself. OP is doing work in the evening hours while many people are chilling in front of the TV.[/quote]

Lol she told us she would rather play tennis. I doubt she spends her day doing chores. Everything is outsourced. But yes she is working so hard![/quote]

I missed where OP said everything is outsourced.
Everything? 
All of the shopping and cooking?
All of the cleaning and laundry?
All of the home maintenance, repairs, and gardening?
All of the driving?
All of the planning and admin tasks? 
All of the providing presence and emotional support?

Did OP hire a household manager who oversees the maids, gardener, cook, handyman, tutor, counselor, and driver?
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You are missing the point. Even full-time WOTH moms manage to get this stuff done, right? And some WOTH moms seem to get this stuff done as well as, if not even better than some SAHMs. 
Just *acknowledge* the reality because no smart kid is actually going to buy the excuse that SAHMs of teenagers are somehow doing a lot of meaningful work. And if you have a graduate degree, it's kind of shameful to not be working if you have teenagers without unusual circumstances. Teenagers are going to make these comments because they're at a point in their lives where there is a lot of pressure about colleges and careers, and if you have a remotely thinking teenagers, they're going to draw the perfectly logical conclusion that their SAH mom has a college (and perhaps even graduate) degree but doesn't need one for the kind of responsibilities that she has. And it's true. All the arguments about this is the choice that mom and dad made, mom does a lot of stuff for the household, mom already had a job before she had kids, etc., etc., are reasons for SAH, but give the fact that there are WOTH moms who manage to balance careers and family -- and seem to be doing perfectly fine with perfectly fine kids and families -- should raise the question in any teenager's mind, especially for girls, as to why they should bother aiming for a top college or thinking about careers if in the end their parents' actions show that they're not really necessary, or even desireable.

I know several SAHMs of teens in my neighborhood. They are nice, friendly, social and have interests, but objectively, they are not particularly "productive" members of society aside from some things they get done for the household that a lot of WOTH parents manage *also* to get done. I also know several WOTHs with careers that contribute to society in meaningful ways, and these WOTH moms manage to chauffeur their kids, make healthy meals, take care of household stuff, walk the dog, etc., etc. In my neighborhood, both types outsource housekeeping and some shopping (i.e., grocery delivery). I suspect the WOTH moms are more type-A and super organized. And the SAHMs are more disorganized, but less stressed. Interestingly, both have the same levels of education, with the exception of the moms with MDs -- they all work.[/quote]

Breaking your theory- many moms with MD stop working too.[/quote]

DP. That may be true where you live. In my neighborhood, the moms with MDs have spouses who either SAH or do the majority of the child and household management.[/quote]

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