Reply to Are working spouses resentful of stay at home spouses who live leisurely lives?

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Reply to "Are working spouses resentful of stay at home spouses who live leisurely lives?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m wouldn’t be resentful because that’s not the type of life I want.

I’m proud of my accomplishments, which include having a successful full time job as well as a well-running house (without outside help). I love the life I lead and I find meaning and value in it.

I would be bored leading the type of life you describe. [/quote]

Why is working full-time and running a house without outside help a badge of honor?  That's a double shift, and I don't envy you. [/quote]

And I’m not asking you to. I’m a driven person and always have been. I like being busy, and I like having goals to achieve. Work and parenting do that for me.

The thread asked if I’d be jealous or resentful of people who stay home and focus on themselves. The answer is no.

I don’t ask for pity or a prize. I’m happy being me. Go be happy being you. [/quote]

Would you be happy if your spouse stayed home and lived a leisurely life while you continued to work and ran the home?  That is the question, and I suspect most driven women would say no. [/quote]

We know several families with either SAHDs (less common, and usually only very young kids) or “dads who are the primary caregivers and have hobby jobs” (we know way more of these). High earning wives, several kids, & the husbands do things like work at the golf course part time, fix up classic luxury cars for sale, small scale house flipping. Biweekly cleaning help.  Honestly, the moms/wives seem extremely happy. However, the two dads like this that we know best are neat freaks (to the point that it is a running joke). One of them is also a really really good cook. Most men probably would not want to do these things. Maybe it is strange that we seem to know several, but we do![/quote]

It's hard to imagine a neat freak husband who is an excellent cook.  I suppose under those circumstances, maybe I'd be okay with it, but [b]I would still get jealous if I had a nonworking spouse who got to spend more time with the kids. [/b] [/quote]

:shock: Why?  
The reason my DH wanted me to stay at home was because he did not want our kids to be raised by others.  He did not want them to HAVE to go to a summer camp if they wanted to have leisurely summer break. He did not want them to catch the school bus in the dreary cold mornings if a parent was available to drive them to school in heated car.  He wanted the presence of a parent in the house to provide them with a sense of security and calm even when they grew up.  He wanted to provide a better quality of life for the children because we had the money to do so.  And this money was able to buy for our children more time with parent/parents.  He wanted to have a domestic staff to take care of the dreary stuff that is needed to run a home - cleaning, laundry, food prep etc, so that the parents had more time and energy to spend with the kids.

Well off people understand the value a SAH spouse can bring to the wellbeing of the family. [/quote]

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