Reply to How/why do people have a second (or more?!?!) child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My two very best friends each have two kids. In both cases, the siblings do not like each other.

So stop with the siblings ensure friendship crap.

[/quote]

People idealize sibling relationships. Or they only look at the best sibling relationships and think "that's what I want for my kid." But that's not how it works.

Have as many kids as feels right for your family, and work at ensuring positive relationships between siblings. But don't ever assume your kids will be friends, or be close, or perform a particular role for one another as adults.

My FIL was always trying to force a very specific brotherly relationship between my DH and his brother and it was miserable for all involved. As soon as FIL died, DH stopped performing this semblance of a close relationship with his brother and their relationship IMPROVED because they had space and no one was doing anything out of obligation anymore. They are super different people and will never be close friends but they now have a more functional relationship with less conflict because they aren't trying to pretend that they like they are close or devoted. The truth is that if they were not brothers they would not choose to be in each others lives and that's okay.[/quote]

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