Reply to How to tell these parents I can’t help?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous](Open with sympathy and how much the school sucks)

So, I actually work from home and I have a very short window of time that I'm able to run out and drop DS (if you want, insert something about having lots of meetings or a micromanaging boss). I usually barely manage to drop him off before the bell. If I had to add another child, I'm not confident I could get them there on time. I really wish I could help![/quote]

That is WAY too wordy and you don't owe anyone a reason why your answer is no. Plus, if you give one that gives people encouragement to problem solve. Just say no. [/quote]

PP. I get that, but if I wanted to maintain good social relationships with these people, I'd give some kind of reason,  even if a less wordy one. [/quote]

No, if you want to maintain a relationship then you should help your friends when they need help. You want the benefits of a friendship without the commitment/follow through.[/quote]

Yup—OP you don’t have a real reason why you can’t help other than “don’t want to.” If they are dropped off at your house, it adds no time to take extra kids. So, there’s no reason to give. Just say “no” and they will see what your relationship is.[/quote]

What about when OP’s kid is sick or not going to school for some reason? Then the extra kids are a burden.[/quote]

JFC.  Then you CALL or TEXT the other parents and say “can’t take the kids today!” And let them figure it out!

Some of you people are so over the top it’s ridiculous.  [/quote]

Yeah this and a few recent posts have a few people scrambling to think of any reason possible, no matter how remote, why they can’t possibly help others. It’s so bizarre. [/quote]

Meanwhile you’re scrambling to come up w reasons why this shouldn’t be a problem for OP when OP already said that it is a problem for her. She doesn’t even need to have an excuse IMO other than simply she doesn’t want to do it. I don’t think anyone would be expecting a working *dad* to do this. This is one of those things it seems people only ask women to do. [/quote]

People will ask regardless of gender to dump their kids on others as they feel their needs are higher than others.[/quote]

Is it “dumping” their kids? 
Why doesn’t OP just ask to meet in her driveway and take turns walking the kids in?  It sounds like she needs to work during that time anyway.

I get the desire not to spend 20 minutes in the school drop off line every day.  [/quote]

Yes OP could ask to take turns. But people are mad at OP for not wanting to simply be the designated drop off spots for parents wanting to avoid the drop off line. No one asked her to coordinate with them in a joint effort to get kids into school. They are asking for a one way favor.
[b]
Why don't these parents work among themselves to solve the problem. Why is OP their first call.[/b] If it were me my first call would be to the family who lived closest to me and whose kids take the same bus to see if we could find a way to help each other. I think it's weird that they instead reached out to OP who is not in this boat at all. This would never occur to me.[/quote]

All of the it takes a village posters are conveniently missing this huge part of the post.  This is not OP's problem to solve AT ALL.  OP doesn't have a problem-she walks her kid to school just fine.  They should be working within their own village (the bus village) to figure out a solution.  That's where the give and take comes in.  Asking OP is just taking with no giving.  THAT is not a village.  [/quote]

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