Reply to How to tell these parents I can’t help?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your problem, OP, is not that you can’t do it, but that you don’t feel like doing it (but you don’t want to cone right out and tell them that because you don’t want them to think you’re a jerk).

Just be honest and then don’t expect any favors, ever, from these people going forward.  I wouldn’t be surprised of they just completely write you off, but it’s your choice.[/quote]

Are you socially a buffoon in real life too?[/quote]

Maybe.  But I don’t mince words.  If I don’t feel like helping you out I’ll tell you so, not pretend that I really want to but I jUsT cAn’T!!  In other words, I act like a grown up and own my choices.[/quote]

Dp I disagree.  I think the social niceness is better than being rude.    How does it harm anyone to be civil rather than your way?[/quote]

The main difference is, if it’s a reasonable request and we’re friends and you need help I will say “yes”.  If I think you’re an entitled AH who is trying to take advantage of me I’ll say “no”.  In the latter case I don’t give a sh!t about being civil since you were uncivil first.\

That's you then.  I've had people say no and 'wished they could' and I appreciated the niceness.  It was easier to take than your way which seems harsher.  And btw, this was a friend but, I asked too late and her car was full.  After that I decided not to ask anyone for any help because this was the one time I asked and was rejected.  This way, I can honestly say no without feeling guilty![/quote]

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