Reply to Should I give up tenured professor position to help DH move higher?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is it just me, or is it really unsettling to see OP casually thinking about giving up essentially a dream job that many people are working hard to try to get?[/quote]

+1[/quote]

This notion is overblown. There is dream job and dream/ideal family life and setup. I’m not saying OP should do it, but it shows how self-centered we’ve become to find it so inconceivable that a man or a woman may, gasp, give up on something that’s amazing for themself because they prioritized the family….

The other thing I will say it, a lot of “dream jobs” are not what they seem from the outside. I am in academia - not tenured yet - but have many friends who are, and a lot of people would happily quit to pursue passions /early retire if their spouse could make as much as OPs husband. [/quote]

I wish this perspective was discussed more. In OP's case it's not clear that quitting and supporting DH is the better outcome for the family, but in general I agree, it should not be frowned upon to deprioritize your individual needs so you can better support a spouse you love, or for a better overall family life (whether that means more net income, or moving to a place with more family friendly lifestyle).  So OP, kudos to you for even considering this and not being as rigid as some of these PPs who suggest it's ridiculous to a tenured professor to consider any other arrangement when she has a family.  Some of the happiest people and couples I know are those who compromised or deprioritized themselves for a spouse or family. [/quote]

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