Reply to Truthfully, can you both have careers and have 3+ kids?

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Reply to "Truthfully, can you both have careers and have 3+ kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No part of the lifestyle the posters on the past 3 pages are describing (3 kids 5 and under in 5 different activities per week and w/ a nanny and preschool) sounds fun at all to me.

I want to actually spend time w/ my kids. I want my kids to have time w/ me just focusing on them 1:1. I want to get to know my kids as people and not just shuttle them around to one activity after another (or have a nanny do it). I want to have a life where we (my spouse and kids and I) can relax and enjoy each other's company and not every waking minute is spent engaged in some "elite sport", working, or driving to/from work or elite sport. That does not sound enjoyable at all.

Think about what is best for your kids and you and your spouse, OP. Do you envision a lifestyle where everyone is always stressed, always going from one thing to the next? Or do you envision a lifestyle where you have a nice family dinner at home most nights and read your kids stories and put them to bed on time and talk about their day and sit on the couch cuddling with them? I think only you can decide what it is that works best for you and your family. Hopefully whatever you choose will also work for your kids as well.[/quote]

If you have kids in travel sports you are probably not having dinner together every night - regardless of whether you have 2 or 3 children. If your spouse has a big job and gets home at 7 or 7:30 (as my husband does) you are not having family dinner together until your kids are in middle school. Another child does not make “getting to know” your children and family dinners impossible.

Your argument is dumb. Go away. You don’t belong in this forum anyway.[/quote]

My "argument" is not an argument. It's an explanation of what kind of lifestyle I want. I do not want the always stressed out running around from one thing to the next lifestyle. I have 2 kids in upper elementary. They do not play travel sports (that would change everything and I'm glad that they do not want to do that. If they wanted to play at that level, we would allow it but it would be a major change.) I didn't say dinner together every night...I think of it more like is family dinner a goal for you? If it is, maybe don't have 3 kids because it'll be harder to achieve that goal the more kids you have as they get older.

And why are you telling me to go away and that I "don't belong in this forum?" Only people w/ 3 kids belong in this forum? Only people who want the hectic lifestyle belong? I suspect you react so strongly to my post because you see in it that not everyone is "super busy and stressed" just because they have kids and careers. That it is in fact possible to have a more relaxed, enjoyable lifestyle where you actually have conversations w/ each other and are not always rushing from one thing to the next. I suspect you seem so hostile toward me because there is some part of you that is unfulfilled w/ your go-go-go always busy life.[/quote]

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