Reply to When successful men with demanding jobs (doctor, lawyer) divorce, what usually causes it?

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Reply to "When successful men with demanding jobs (doctor, lawyer) divorce, what usually causes it?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Every doctor or lawyer under age 45 we know is married to another striver doctor, lawyer, consultant, or fed. JDs, MBAs, and MDs go hand in hand. A couple starter marriage divorces (0-3 years married) but over 90% are still together. Cheating definitely happens on both sides because when you both work a lot, you grow closer to colleagues and work associates, since you spend more time with them than with your spouse.[/quote]
The divorces in this group will come but will happen when they hit 55+, are not as busy, don't have kids left in the house, and realize they don't especially want to do the same things for the rest of their lives.
You'll also start to see the first-time dads who are not interested in that lifestyle shift at 35 or 40. [/quote]

This. Under 45, these couples are still starting families, plus there's a huge financial component. Being a dual income couple in jobs like this is a big financial boon and right around 40 is when you see how much that financial alliance benefits you. Especially with kids in the picture. At this age, couples like this are so busy and focused on building their careers while also figuring out kid stuff, often with the help of nannies and family and other help, and it's just about managing the family almost like a business, which someone with this kind of job is often comfortable with. The only divorces you see at this stage will be ones where something is super wrong -- serious substance abuse problem, affair where someone fell in love and wants out, massive financial malfeasance. Or big personality disorder, which might accompany one of the forgoing. But most people can muscle through it. Doesn't mean they still love each other or want to be together on the other side when the kids are older and work is in a different phase, and at that point the financial alliance is no longer as critical -- they've made their money, college is paid for, retirement is comfortably padded, they don't need the big house anymore anyway, it's not that hard to divide things up.

It's like a joint venture that lasts 20 years or so and then the partners move on to other things, but with feelings and sex. For a while anyway.[/quote]

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