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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find these responses so hypocritical.  If a man posted ‘I want to downsize our lifestyle so I can spend more time with our kids but my wife says no’ most would support him, many would encourage him to look for a new job anyway.  They have plenty of money.  She can take a year off with the baby.  She can find a lower paying job later.  He can stay or he can look for a different sugar mama.  [/quote]

Nobody said she shouldn’t downsize/lean out of work.

OP isn’t asking for that. She is asking for her DH to become a breadwinner so she doesn’t have to work at all. She is also calling him a bum and making him sound like a deadbeat when he is a professor with six figure salary. She hasn’t really discussed how he is as a father or partner around the house, she’s just angry that he won’t make.more.money like she thinks he should.

She’s also handling this very immaturely with financial hiding tactics and is basically playing some sort of game of chicken to see if he’ll divorce her.

And she’s all over the place claiming she will easily be fired and won’t be able to find another job, but also she can quiet quit and even if she loses her high paying job and gets divorced she and her kids will magically be able to live just fine because she’ll get some other job. So which is it?

I think ultimately OP is stressed about her job and instead of rationally seeking out a recruiter and exploring other sales-adjacent options, she is displacing her feelings on her DH. But when anyone points this out she insists she is oh so clever with her deposit schemes and the rest of us just don’t get it. Like ok ma’am why are you here then if you have it all figured out.[/quote]

Dude, fast food and retail jobs in California pay $20/hr. six figures professor job must be in some random Wyoming community college. [/quote]

I'm also curious about where they live. $120k is a low professional salary, and the OP mentioned they live in a college town, so I'm assuming they have an LCOL. OP's $400k salary could go very far if she sticks it out a couple more years. Could they buy a nice house with no mortgage, send the kids to public school with the children of other professors, get college students to babysit and nanny as needed, and eat at less expensive restaurants whose target audience is college students?  It seems reasonable for OP to quit in the near term if she desires because her $400k salary can go really far to set them up now.  Does her DH's kids get free tuition at his college?  [/quote]

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