Reply to Dating someone who cheated on their spouse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, cheaters are NOT good parents. Maybe he has other traits that you find attractive, but somebody who cheats is a liar and a terrible parent. He put himself before anybody else not caring about any of the consequences, and there are likely to be many, to his kids. They are complete and utter innocent collateral damage. He is a bad parent. There is no way around this. [/quote]
Really? Who are you to judge others? [/quote]

I can’t fathom how anybody could insist that they are a good parent if they cheat. You lie, you betray, you put yourself first, even knowing that by cheating you are pulling apart your kids’ family, breaking their hearts, likely making their lives unstable and stressful, forever changing how they view you, likely altering how they view relationships and honesty and love. Somebody who knowingly, willingly, and proactively makes the decision to cheat? Knowing it will wreck their kids’ lives and forever change their world? And still not caring? That is a bad parent. [/quote]

DP +1.  This is the disgusting "if they don't know (or never find out), I'm not hurting anyone" people.  [/quote]

I’m not saying that cheating is acceptable, but there are plenty of children of divorced parents whose lives are not in fact wrecked, and who went on to have solid loving relationships. There’s more than one way to grow up and have a family. [/quote]

Yes, there are children of divorce who go on to live happy and well adjusted lives. But a cheater rolls the dice on the outcome for his or her kids by cheating, by making unilateral decisions that out others, including kids, in jeopardy for harm (emotional, mental, financial, and to the spouse physical/health). Maybe they cheat and everyone turns out to be unaffected by the cheating and lying, maybe they are irreparably damaged. Who knows. But the parent who goes “hmm, maaaaaybe I’m about to screw up my kids forever, or maybe not, let’s just go get my rocks off anyway” is not a good parent. [/quote]

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