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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here I’ve been accused of being a “laid back snow plow parent” and “checking out on my kids” the trolling on this site is ponderous.

My post is part lament and part warning.  I thought that we were active parents with well adjusted kids that were doing pretty well. Particularly in early elementary school I thought the parents pushing their kids into ever higher math groups and scheming to get their 2nd graders into the most competitive travel team were slightly unhinged.  But now looking at the results I think I was wrong.

The facts are these.

1. Up through middle school I had good and happy kids they did well in schools and standardized tests and participated in rec sports every season. We sat with them while they did thier homework, went to thier games met with their teachers and even coached a few of their teams.

2. In high school- They did well academically and took a few APs. But they were not among the most advanced kids.  My eldest never made the highschool baseball team and my youngest seeing his brother ‘s struggles switched to lacrosse.  Both participated in varsity sports (cross country, track and lacrosse for our youngest)

3. Both were accepted to good but not elite colleges.  Whereas many of the kids we started with are going to elite school and/or recruited athletes.

4. I’m not unhappy with their experience or results but In retrospect I think if we had pushed more in elementary school we would’ve gotten better results.  I think they would have certainly played highschool baseball if we had taken it more seriously.

As I wrote before - when they were smaller we didn’t want hectic nights and weekends so we didn’t prioritize travel sports.  The kids were happy and doing well in school so we thought there was no need to push them into more advanced classes.

I understand that we are very fortunate that our kids are happy healthy and going to good schools but looking back we missed opportunities.  Would pushing have substantially changed the outcome- I don’t know.  But the cost for that pushing would not have been that much more than we were already doing. [/quote]

This is nuts. Why do you think if you pushed baseball they'd have made the high school baseball team? Did they actually have enough talent to make the team? Did they have the desire to go to baseball practices regularly? If not, I doubt they would have made the team no matter how hard you pushed.[/quote]

How many people leave all the decisions to their kids? Don't want the vaccines? Eat vegetables? Go to bed on time? Kids don't really know what's best and by the time they wake up they will be too far behind to catch up. Even the greats will say there were times they wanted to quit, not practice, sleep in, but the ones who persevere credit their parents for their sacrifices and believing in them.[/quote]

We're not talking about a need though. Kids don't need to participate in sports or extracurriculars. This is supposed to be a fun and enjoyable experience. It's up to them whether they participate or not [/quote]

That's one parenting philosophy. There are others. But the world needs ditch diggers, so you're welcome to parent in the way that works for you.[/quote]

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