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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Dated for 2 months, didn’t work out. Now…we’re expecting."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.[/quote] NP, I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers. I have no problem terminating the growth of a few cells, but it would kill me to carry a pregnancy to term and then hand over my baby. Call me selfish. I don’t care. You have to be very cold to just hand over your living, breathing baby and go on like nothing happened.[/quote] I agree, I would think about them and imagine what it would’ve been like frequently.[/quote] There are open adoptions now.[/quote] PP, you really do not get it, do you? It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were. I think the jealousy and worry would swallow me whole. I would care that I had handed over custody of my child to someone else. I would care about what sorts of things that occurred in their home that I might disagree with, not illegal things, just differences in opinions about how to raise a child and on life philosophy in general. I would care that they and not I would have authority over the person that I had brought into the world genetically and physiologically. I am not a dog to be bred. Again, I stand firmly by my original statement that I would much, much rather terminate the growth of an embryo than to hand my child over into someone else’s hands. I couldn’t live with that. It would break my heart. [/quote] No, you changed your original statement. Your statement was "I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers." When open adoption was brought up, which can have lots of contact, you changed your statement to "It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were." There is no logical consistency to what you're saying. Also, you don't sound at all concerned for your child in these scenarios, it's really just about how you and your potential feelings of jealousy. If you're "not a dog to be bred" as you so aptly put it, perhaps should stop behaving like one. You're the one doing this to yourself. Have you considered sterilization?[/quote] First off, I am not the OP and I am not pregnant. I have never had an unwanted pregnancy, but I am realistic and have considered what I would do in that circumstance. I would have an abortion. That is the only option for me. I am not okay with having a full term pregnancy and then just handing off my baby to anyone. Period!!!! There is logical consistency in what I’m saying. You just do not want to hear it because you are Pro-Life and adamantly against abortion. That’s why you dropped in here to open our eyes to the previously unheard of option of adoption. It’s like no one here could have imagined this magical solution before you mentioned it. Get this through your head: I would not be okay wondering about my child in the hands of total strangers and I would not be okay wondering about how another woman (that I’d met a few times) was raising my child in an open adoption. Both ways would be thoroughly unacceptable and incredibly painful to me.) I’m not some cold, insensitive mare/dog/breeding animal that can have a baby and then just hand it off. No, I am not concerned about an embryo of several weeks. That is why I would have an abortion easily and without regret in the case of an unwanted pregnancy. I do not consider the embryo to be a child. I consider it to be a collection of cells that needs my body to potentially become a child. You don’t get to control what other women do with their bodies. We’re not breeders to make children for other couples. The fact that you call me selfish is highly hypocritical. You’re the selfish one here. You want to force other women to carry pregnancies to term, so that you can steal their kids. That’s disgusting. [/quote] The more you repeatedly compare yourself to a dog and a broodmare, the more mentally ill you seem. Why do you allow men to treat you like that? I wasn't kidding when I suggested that you seek sterilization, for your sake as much as any potential child's. [/quote] Oh shut up! I’m a married 48 year old mother of two and my husband got a vasectomy years ago. I’m not going to be getting pregnant anytime soon. I am just trying to explain to you that adoption is not a viable option for most women. I would never, under any circumstance, give my child up. NEVER!!!! If I were a pregnant 16 year old and abortion were illegal, I still wouldn’t give my kid away. I would find a way to take care of my child. You have this very repressive dogma and cannot see beyond it. Giving their child up for adoption isn’t a choice that many women are willing to make and you cannot force them to, with or without abortion on the table. Most of us would be too bonded with our baby to hand em over to you. Don’t you get that?!? Stop treating women like mares, you biatch!!!![/quote] I'm sorry you have so much trauma from your abortion. I imagine you are thinking about it more as you reach the end of your reproductive years and wondering what might have been. I really wish you healing.[/quote] Oh my God, now you’re just grasping at straws to try to fit your narrative. I have never had an abortion or an unwanted pregnancy. I wanted two kids and I had two kids, easily. Stop trying to make crap up because you don’t like what I’m saying. The fact is very few kids are up for adoption in America, especially not babies. Most women will not willingly give their children up for adoption. There used to be a stigma for being an unwed mom, so women used to do it to save face. But it was traumatic for many of them. The stigma no longer exists. Likewise, the government provides a social safety net for these children in their biological homes. If I had faced an unwanted pregnancy, I would have had an abortion. I wasn’t ready to be a mom until I was older. But if abortion were illegal, I still, sure as hell wouldn’t give my kid away. That’s a very cold, heartless thing to do. I couldn’t live with myself if I had done that. An abortion, in the first couple of weeks, however, would not have bothered me in the slightest. I would not feel traumatized from taking a few pills and having an especially heavy period. I would, however, feel traumatized with handing my infant over to another woman. The statistics on abortions and adoptions reflect that the majority of women feel the way I do. Accept it and move on and focus on your life. But you won’t, instead you’ll make up some weird story in your head and try to change the narrative to fit your baby stealing agenda.[/quote] Several posters have responded that you should get sterilized, if you aren't already. How you've interpreted that as baby stealing or forced breeding is bizarre. Literally nobody wants you to give birth.[/quote] I don’t even know how to respond to such a dumb comment. You’re telling a total stranger who has already said that she’s in her late 40s and has two kids that she should get sterilized. That’s an incredibly stupid and ridiculous thing to say. If you cannot intelligently comment on the issue of women choices in handling an unwanted pregnancy, why feel the need to say anything at all? Your comment adds nothing to the conversation. Do you think that I’ll go ahead and say, “Great idea?” You suggestion will not change how I act or how other women act. The only person you can sterilize is yourself. Go for it! The thing is you are a virulent pro-lifer and you cannot accept that most Americans are not. Most women will continue terminating their unwanted pregnancies and will not willingly give their babies up for adoption. No amount of name calling or suggestions of sterilization will change that. But keep them coming. I don’t care. I love arguing with stupid people.[/quote] You're not actually responding to the comment at all. You need to work on your reading comprehension.[/quote]what are you talking about. Your comment was: Several posters have responded that you should get sterilized, if you aren't already. How you've interpreted that as baby stealing or forced breeding is bizarre. Literally nobody wants you to give birth.[/quote] I don’t even know how to respond to such a dumb comment. You’re telling a total stranger who has already said that she’s in her late 40s and has two kids that she should get sterilized. That’s an incredibly stupid and ridiculous thing to say. If you cannot intelligently comment on the issue of women choices in handling an unwanted pregnancy, why feel the need to say anything at all? Your comment adds nothing to the conversation. Do you think that I’ll go ahead and say, “Great idea?” You suggestion will not change how I act or how other women act. The only person you can sterilize is yourself. Go for it! The thing is you are a virulent pro-lifer and you cannot accept that most Americans are not. Most women will continue terminating their unwanted pregnancies and will not willingly give their babies up for adoption. No amount of name calling or suggestions of sterilization will change that. But keep them coming. I don’t care. I love arguing with stupid people.[/quote] You're not actually responding to the comment at all. You need to work on your reading comprehension.[/quote] What are you talking about? Do you like to throw out catchphrases you don’t understand, like reading comprehension?Your comment was very simple. You told me to get sterilized. The exact words are below: “Several posters have responded that you should get sterilized, if you aren't already. How you've interpreted that as baby stealing or forced breeding is bizarre. Literally nobody wants you to give birth.” And I responded by saying that I am menopausal and already had two children, so the suggestion of sterilization was ludicrous. And then I continued to reiterate that very few women with unwanted pregnancies will voluntarily give their babies up for adoption. Most will terminate the pregnancy. That is their preference and their CHOICE. The more you write the more amazed I am at your stupidity. It’s truly stunning. [/quote]
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