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Reply to "Dated for 2 months, didn’t work out. Now…we’re expecting."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.[/quote]

NP, I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers. I have no problem terminating the growth of a few cells, but it would kill me to carry a pregnancy to term and then hand over my baby. Call me selfish. I don’t care. You have to be very cold to just hand over your living, breathing baby and go on like nothing happened.[/quote]

I agree, I would think about them and imagine what it would’ve been like frequently.[/quote]

There are open adoptions now.[/quote]

PP, you really do not get it, do you? It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were. I think the jealousy and worry would swallow me whole. I would care that I had handed over custody of my child to someone else. I would care about what sorts of things that occurred in their home that I might disagree with, not illegal things, just differences in opinions about how to raise a child and on life philosophy in general. I would care that they and not I would have authority over the person that I had brought into the world genetically and physiologically. I am not a dog to be bred.

Again, I stand firmly by my original statement that I would much, much rather terminate the growth of an embryo than to hand my child over into someone else’s hands. I couldn’t live with that. It would break my heart. [/quote]

No, you changed your original statement. Your statement was "I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers." When open adoption was brought up, which can have lots of contact, you changed your statement to "It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were." There is no logical consistency to what you're saying. Also, you don't sound at all concerned for your child in these scenarios, it's really just about how you and your potential feelings of jealousy. If you're "not a dog to be bred" as you so aptly put it, perhaps should stop behaving like one. You're the one doing this to yourself. Have you considered sterilization?[/quote]

First off, I am not the OP and I am not pregnant. I have never had an unwanted pregnancy, but I am realistic and have considered what I would do in that circumstance.

I would have an abortion. That is the only option for me. I am not okay with having a full term pregnancy and then just handing off my baby to anyone. Period!!!!

There is logical consistency in what I’m saying. You just do not want to hear it because you are Pro-Life and adamantly against abortion. That’s why you dropped in here to open our eyes to the previously  unheard of option of adoption. It’s like no one here could have imagined this magical solution before you mentioned it.

Get this through your head: I would not be okay wondering about my child in the hands of total strangers and I would not be okay wondering about how another woman (that I’d met a few times) was raising my child in an open adoption. Both ways would be thoroughly unacceptable and incredibly painful to me.) I’m not some cold, insensitive mare/dog/breeding animal that can have a baby and then just hand it off.

No, I am not concerned about an embryo of several weeks. That is why I would have an abortion easily and without regret in the case of an unwanted pregnancy. I do not consider the embryo to be a child. I consider it to be a collection of cells that needs my body to potentially become a child.

You don’t get to control what other women do with their bodies. We’re not breeders to make children for other couples. The fact that you call me selfish is highly hypocritical. You’re the selfish one here. You want to force other women to carry pregnancies to term, so that you can steal their kids. That’s disgusting. [/quote]

The more you repeatedly compare yourself to a dog and a broodmare, the more mentally ill you seem. Why do you allow men to treat you like that? I wasn't kidding when I suggested that you seek sterilization, for your sake as much as any potential child's. [/quote]

Oh shut up! I’m a married 48 year old mother of two and my husband got a vasectomy years ago. I’m not going to be getting pregnant anytime soon.

I am just trying to explain to you that adoption is not a viable option for most women. I would never, under any circumstance, give my child up. NEVER!!!! If I were a pregnant 16 year old and abortion were illegal, I still wouldn’t give my kid away. I would find a way to take care of my child.

You have this very repressive dogma and cannot see beyond it. Giving their child up for adoption isn’t a choice that many women are willing to make and you cannot force them to, with or without abortion on the table. Most of us would be too bonded with our baby to hand em over to you. Don’t you get that?!?

Stop treating women like mares, you biatch!!!![/quote]

I'm sorry you have so much trauma from your abortion. I imagine you are thinking about it more as you reach the end of your reproductive years and wondering what might have been. I really wish you healing.[/quote]

Oh my God, now you’re just grasping at straws to try to fit your narrative. I have never had an abortion or an unwanted pregnancy. I wanted two kids and I had two kids, easily. Stop trying to make crap up because you don’t like what I’m saying. The fact is very few kids are up for adoption in America, especially not babies.

Most women will not willingly give their children up for adoption. There used to be a stigma for being an unwed mom, so women used to do it to save face. But it was traumatic for many of them. The stigma no longer exists. Likewise, the government provides a social safety net for these children in their biological homes.

If I had faced an unwanted pregnancy, I would have had an abortion. I wasn’t ready to be a mom until I was older. But if abortion were illegal, I still, sure as hell wouldn’t give my kid away. That’s a very cold, heartless thing to do. I couldn’t live with myself if I had done that. An abortion, in the first couple of weeks, however, would not have bothered me in the slightest. I would not feel traumatized from taking a few pills and having an especially heavy period. I would, however, feel traumatized with handing my infant over to another woman.

The statistics on abortions and adoptions reflect that the majority of women feel the way I do. Accept it and move on and focus on your life.

But you won’t, [b]instead you’ll make up some weird story in your head and try to change the narrative to fit your baby stealing agenda.[/b][/quote]

Q anon has entered the thread.[/quote]

Yep, there it is. Instead of trying to just hear an opposing opinion, you’ve narrowed in on the sarcasm instead of the message.

You want women with unwanted pregnancies to give their kids up for adoption. Most of them do not want to and you cannot make them.

Accept that fact and move on!!!!![/quote]

You keep referencing some big baby stealing agenda. You're an unhinged conspiracy theorist who is spreading disinformation. I would write more, but I have to go take my adrenochrome now.[/quote]

No, I don’t. I keep saying what you do not want to hear: the majority of women, who have unwanted pregnancies, do not want to give their babies up for adoption. You cannot force them to do so.

I will repeat as necessary until you manage to get this message through your thick skull. [/quote]

NP. As someone who was adopted in 1961, I can say for a fact you are right.

I have the counseling notes from the adoption agency. (They will send you those redacted.) My father was my mother's boss; he ditched her when she became pregnant. She wanted to keep me, but could see no way forward to do so. She had lost her job,[b] her family were strict Baptists who would disown her for an out of wedlock pregnancy,[/b] she was homeless, and she was already in debt as she had to borrow money just to pay the adoption agency. (So much all the charity there!) The social worker wrote that my mother was also being threatened by my birth father with exposure if she tried to name him as the father.

So without options, she gave me up.  The adoption industry is a racket oftentimes.   And I am very pro choice after seeing the suffering people made her go through.[/quote]

Your poor Mommy. If I were her, after I'd gotten my life back together I'd have disowned those Baptist parents. What jerks. [/quote]

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