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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I love these posts.  They make me feel so much better about my marriage and my life.

My wife actively encourages me to take trips and doesn’t care if I come back tired or hungover.  She takes trips and sometimes arrives home in the same condition.  I’ll go hunting, golf, boating, or skiing and she’ll go to some resort or city somewhere with her friends.  We do the same sorts of trips together and with friends.

It sounds like you guys are just miserable and that’s the problem.  Not the trips.[/quote]

DW sort of pokes fun of me for being banged up after a Vegas weekend or whatever, but it’s all in good humor and she is mostly nurturing. Even if there’s some “tsk tsk” element to it. She like when I go have fun.

I do the same for her — though she doesn’t really drink, so it’s just a matter of managing the kids/house… which, guess what ladies, ain’t rocket science.

Reading the OP made me want to jump out a window. I can almost hear her screaching from my couch. [/quote]

Op here - obviously I know it’s not rocket science to manage our kids/house. I will add though while you and the dads who have “big jobs” get to focus all your energy on work all day I got to work AND make breakfast, lunch and dinner for 5 people, walk the dog 3 miles, do laundry, schedule dentist appointments, schedule pre and post operative appointments for one kid, take one kid to tutoring, drop off and pick up 3 kids.

So yea my second job, being a default parent, isn’t the same number of hours and isn’t paid the same as my husbands I would argue that I am also contributing to my household.

I also have said multiple times I don’t care if he goes on guy trips. I just get annoyed when he gets home and is exhausted and cannot also contribute to our home life. We don’t have the luxury to just sit home and recuperate from a long weekend. Our kids don’t care that we are tired. Our jobs don’t care that we are tired. Our dog doesn’t care we are tired. We have to suck it up and do the grind every day. [/quote]

So stop being a martyr and trying to do it all. You say that you provide a substantial contribution to the family income and that your DH makes 3.5-4 times more than you so I’m assuming that you make at minimum 100k  and 350-400k respectively and likely more. That’s plenty of money for you to either outsource some of the housekeeping/childcare if you truly want to continue to work outside the home or alternately for you to quit your job or scale back to something part time. (I know you said that your job provides the health care for your family but I find it hard to believe that your husband’s job doesn’t provide an alternative option even if it costs a bit more.)
[/quote]

This! There is no trophy for being the most exhausted, most overtaxed, “I never get a break! Look at me!” mom. And that dynamic is allll over your post. You have the means to take a lot of stuff off of your plate, including but not limited to work, the dog, probably some kid driving. So do it! You get one life to live; no point in spending it miserable. [/quote]

+1. You make more than enough money. There are dog walkers, meal services, housekeepers, nannies, and more that you could be hiring. I don’t have a lot of sympathy for someone who whines that they have to walk the dog and while making a high HHI because that’s literally a task that you can outsource in a heartbeat for a reasonable price. [/quote]

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