Reply to MIL always wants to randomly stop by

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "MIL always wants to randomly stop by"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The OP and those supporting her are sociopaths. You are asking a heavy price of your DH to be married to you. You ask him to cut off his own family, pretend his own mother is no longer a member of his family. That's not a healthy demand and is a huge red flag for sociopathy. Imagine if your DD dated a guy who wanted her to cut off contact with family and friends HE did not get along with. That would be troubling wouldn't it. A massive red flag. That's you, OP.[/quote]

I think that for those of us who have raised their sons to be fully functioning adults, we feel less inclined to stick our noses intrusively into their business and respect healthy boundaries.  Our kids have a right to privacy in their own homes.

I absolutely would not expect my DIL to drop everything she's in the middle of to have a "quick" little social visit with me.  Nor would I use my role as a mother/grandmother as an excuse to bother them like that. Talk about being narcissistic.

If you made soup, text your SON and say "Hey, I made your favorite soup.  You can stop by my house to pick it up when it's convenient or let me know when I can drop it off at your house".  Then let your son pick it up or you can drop it off - but don't use it as an excuse to treat your son or DIL as a captive audience.[/quote]

Why do they have to be a captive audience? Why do they have to drop everything to focus on MIL? Can't they just relax, even around their own family?This sounds like PTSD -- always having to be alert, always on guard. This is not healthy in a family.[/quote]

If I'm in the middle of bathing a kid, helping with homework, cleaning the bathroom, training the dog, doing my nails or I just put the baby down for a nap and I finally get a few minutes to myself I do not want visitors interrupting me spur of the moment.  "I made soup!  I'm going to pop by now to drop it off before it gets cold!!" - eh, just ask when you can drop it off or when they can pick it up.   It's soup, not an emergency.

Oddly enough the people who "get" what boundaries are usually see their adult kids and grandchildren far more frequently than the ones who frequently intrude on their adult children.[/quote]

Yup, amazing that most of us actually want to spend more time with people who respect boundaries and are not self centered and actually respect us as grown adults and realize that we have our "family" and might not be able to randomly accommodate them whenever they want[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics