Reply to Married 14 years- Just Learned of Cheating in Year 5

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Putting the most positive face on this, it seems likely that he got it out of his system and you "won".

Anyone that cheats like that is a promise-breaker and might do it again.

That doesn't mean you have to divorce.

You need to line up marital counseling that is objective - neither pro-reconciliation nor pro-divorce.

Don't catastrophize.  Honor your feelings of sadness and betrayal.  Your husband owes you full disclosure.

Do not contact or seek out the social media of the OW.  She is morally reprehensible as well and you will get no peace from contacting her or seeking out details about her.  She is not your concern.

I'm sorry for your hurt.  Be brave.

[/quote]

I think this is a great response, but I would also seek a consult with an attorney about what a divorce would look like for you, and what a postnuptial agreement could look like for you. You should consider options in an informed way.[/quote]

Consult with an attorney asap.  If he hid this could he be hiding more affairs?   Could he hide money?  Hide investments?  I mean he took her to Mexico on what sounds like a nice ($$) trip!  That is half your money!

I wouldn’t be able to trust him again.  Look at his passport and previous passports for one! I always keep the old one… [/quote]

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