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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like there’s some shame going on. Is there anything on his youth/childhood that might explain this?[/quote]

Op here. Honestly I really don’t think so. He has done all these things before. I think he is really just stuck in his ways at this point. And now that others mentioned it, maybe he is afraid of not being able to perform in other positions. I really don’t know.[/quote]

Dear OP, you must actually have the conversation with your DH, not with us. What is your plan to do so?[/quote]

I have brought up many times that it upsets me. But clearly I have to be more direct in my questioning. I don’t even know how to ask something like that without hurting his feelings in some way though. But I guess that’s what needs to happen.[/quote]

So you haven’t specifically asked for or initiated the position you desire? Just a general let’s try some new things? He’s probably thinking, too much work. Take the lead here. If he has bad knees, ask him to stand while you contort into a position that fits. You both seem passive. Just go for it. If he’s laying down in bed, get him going in whatever way he likes. Quickly get on top. Or sit him in a chair with no arms and straddle. It’s a great option for you to hold onto the back of chair for stability and control. It allows him to go deeper with little exertion. You can face him to start, then easily get into reverse cowgirl. Ok, I’m starting to sound like a freak. But you get the point. [/quote]

Op here. NO- I have been VERY clear about exactly what I want. That’s why I get frustrated-because he responds like I’m asking for something crazy when they are definitely not. I’m not being vague when I talk to him about it. I am extremely specific.

And that’s why I won’t “just do it” after he has said no. Because I wouldn’t want someone doing that to me after I said no to something. Especially the person I’m married to. [/quote]

So - OP - has this thread assisted you in anyway?  [/quote]

It has. But you know what has actually helped me more? It’s been a while since I read this forum-and reading other threads about the different issues people are dealing with has made me feel more grateful. Especially the thread where people are talking about how their spouses never say “I love you” (and they in turn don’t either). That one got me. That is seriously sad. There are so many things my husband does right. [b]I’m just going to need to accept that I might just need to let go of this, as hard as that is[/b].[/quote]

OP - a gentle reminder - you don't "need to just accept" and "need to let go of this" - you GET to choose to do that if that's what you want, but it is not the only choice.  Just because other posters here may be on their own journeys and tackling their own challenges, doesn't mean you need to minimize what is important to YOU and "buck up and be grateful because children are starving in [China]"  (you know what I mean)[/quote]

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