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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m the ADHD poster and have been reflecting on the comments and realize I was projecting my situation onto many posters.

In my specific case, which is too complicated to summarise, I had to reject the help I was receiving in order to step up and take responsibility. My spouse only wanted to take things from me to make my life easier, but it just enables and stressed me out. Then he’d criticise me for clutter and other things. Nothing I did was good enough and the more i tries to explain myself, the more resentful he got. Like he just wanted me gone.

It actually made me worse mentally, but now that we are split and there are clear lanes for coparenting, I feel less stressed and overwhelmed and able to manage the increase in responsibilities.

I am not bitter, I don’t blame. This is just the reality I am dealing with. I have found help and support from other friends and professionals. But not from my ex-spouse or parents. [/quote]

So in your case, you probably had some way of emotionally dealing with him that didn't work out well. I'm going to guess some sort of defense mechanism which is often the case with people who have ADHD. He probably also had some emotional issues that led to the split.OCD or something. And you weren't taking responsibility for things. I think understanding that your health led to the dysfunction is healthier than thinking the dysfunction stemmed from someone else and that you had to get away to get better. Both are actually true, but it's due to an inability to be healthy from the beginning. It's like someone who can't do the job and the boss doesn't understand why the person can't do it and takes things away and complains when still that isn't enough, but then when the person leaves and gets more skilled than they are better on their own. It's the skill that makes the person healthier and the lack of past trauma/distrust dealing with a new person. [/quote]

Yes, agree. There’s a lot of truth to this.

This is the healthier outcome for me mentally, even if I’m now less financially secure in the long run. [/quote]

This is not a thread about your experience. This is a thread about what your spouse’s experience might have been. Please start a different thread for this.[/quote]

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