Reply to Wife is super rigid about showing up on time

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm secondhand embarrassed for all these people railing on OP when they don't know basic good manners for visiting people. (I suspect a dose of misnadry, but I wouldn't accuse it.)

An invitation to arrive at 5 means you should  arrive *after* 5. It's rude to crash a host before they are ready, and absurd to arrive exactly at a specific minute.

A good host announces 2 times: an "arrive after" time, and a "dinner is served" ("arive before") time.

https://emilypost.com/advice/party-etiquette-tips-for-hosts-and-guests[/quote]

Thank you for this. I suspect all these “you must show up exactly on time or else it’s disrespectful”and “if you’re on time you’re late” posters don’t actually get invited to many social events in people’s homes. Even Emily Post acknowledges a 15 minute grace window for arriving and has the sense to tell people dear lord do NOT show up before your invite time. I find it amusing how many people think they’re so much superior for their rigid adherence to time, but they’re actually the ones struggling with social norms. [/quote]

That link literally says BE ON TIME. The invite time plus a 15 min grace period is acceptable. Showing at 5 for a 5pm party is acceptable to Emily Post. (Wonder why it’s called a grace period?)[/quote]

Did you actually read what I wrote? I never said there is anything wrong with being on time. On time or within the grace window of 10-15 min = fine. Claiming that you are already late if you are on time is rigid and unpleasant. Interpreting someone arriving a little after the arrival time as some sort of personal sleigh is petty and insecure at best. In some cases it sounds like a narcissistic test of loyalty.

But I agree with you that on time is fine. Showing up early is flat out tacky. [/quote]

Did you or did you not say a 5pm arrival means you arrive 5 minutes *after* 5? And then say it is absurd to arrive exactly at a specific minute?  Because if that was you, you were most definitely saying that arriving in time is rude and absurd.  [/quote]

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