Reply to I don’t want to travel OR host for the holidays

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP ..so you’ve gotten a glimpse into the boomer reaction of taking away THEIR right to control your families holidays. It’s nasty. It’s ridiculous. It’s real.

I would simply tell them that this Christmas you and your family are staying home and just doing the holiday with your own family. You all aren’t up for traveling or hosting. Keep it simple and short. Don’t offer them next year. In fact if they push tell them it’s too soon to know what your plans will be next year.

The BEST thing DH and I ever did was to never establish the expectation that we would travel n holidays, host or that anyone else owned a holiday. We did what worked for us and respected what worked for them. Sometimes we did host, sent out an invite and some relatives came while some could not. No problem. We traveled maybe three times in total and again never set the expectation that we would be doing this every other year. We also never gave minute of thought as to how much time each group got. Nobody is owed anything. It’s called being an adult and not allowing anyone to foist their anxiety and control issues onto your family. [/quote]

It’s absolutely a boomer thing!

As an older GenX, DH and I are looking forward to the time when the kids don’t want to come back for holidays. Nice hotel in New York, European Christmas, or even just Union Square. We’ll send nice gifts, deck the house out and put lights up for our annual neighborhood Christmas parties. If kids want to come fine but honestly I’m looking forward to when they’ll have their own lives and certainly don’t expect to worm my way in or take control.

It’s not a “boomer” thing or a generational thing.  It’s an individual thing.

I do love reading posts like yours though.  How you think you have all the answers.  Just remember what you’re modeling.  And when your kids grow up and want nothing to do with you on their holidays I wonder if you’ll continue to be so smug.  [/quote][/quote]

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