Reply to My good friend’s husband is cheating do I tell her??

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This happened to me. I had a very close friend of 22 years whose husband was cheating on her. [b]I waited until I had solid proof (invited her to a house party that I knew he would attend  with another woman[/b] while he told her he was at work). She was very upset at me and totally cut me off. As far as I know they’re still together. [/quote]

Wait -- I'm not entirely clear; you invited the DH to a party, knew he would bring the other woman, and then invited your friend/the DW to the same party? So she would see him there with OW and know he'd lied about working at the same time?

When I first read it I thought you meant you invited him to a party to see if he'd bring OW and confirm your suspicions. But am I right that you invited his DW as well? Engineering a face-to-face meeting between her and DH with his OW by his side? Did your friend, the DW, know that she was going to this party because you'd done it to set him up and prove to her that he was cheating, or did she not know and she turned up for a party jnaware she'd be confronted by this with no warning?

Because if she didn't know she was coming to your party in order to out her DH -- WOW, you blindsided her. I would understand her cutting you off in anger at blindsiding her, rather than telling her. Am I just misreading the whole party scenario? I hope so. The fact they're still together is irrelevant to the situation with you as her friend getting cut off, I think. [/quote]
No. I was invited to a party and I knew friend’s husband was invited to. He told her he would work to very late that day. I knew he would be there. I invited my friend since her DH “was working late”. We were already there when we both saw him arriving to the party arms around the other woman. My friend was mad at me. It not DH. [/quote]

If you don't see how the scenario you describe here was still a way of blindsiding her, then you're not paying attention. You knew he'd be there and you also knew he'd told her he was working late? How did you get all this inside intel on his comings and goings and what he told his wife--?

I'm in the "tell a DW that her DH is cheating" camp for sure, but I also think your technique here was what lost you your friend.

In a public setting, among a crowd of people who surely knew both her and her DH, you knowingly put her into the situation of facing her DH with "arms around another woman." It was very effective at outing his cheating and lies, for sure. But wow, you surely embarrassed her for life. And you don't seem to get that. [/quote]

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