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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m appalled by some of the answers on this thread.  What kind of crappy friendships do y’all have?

If you are truly my friend, tell me - with as much evidence as you have. Be factual. Don’t tell me what to do; just say you know this is a really difficult situation and you will support me and help me whatever I decide to do but that you thought as my friend, you owed it to me to tell me and that you’d want me to do the same.

[b]If I knew a friend knew something like this and didn’t tell me, I’d feel doubly heartbroken and betrayed[/b]. [/quote]

+1[/quote]

+2.  The “don’t tell” POV has always stumped me as applied to good friends.  Where I have landed is that it’s really not a disagreement about telling or not, fundamentally it is a difference around what is a “friend” and how they should be treated. I think we would mostly agree that MYOB makes sense as to strangers or casual acquaintances (recognizing that there are some “always tell” radicals out there).  Unless you know that your friend would not want to know, knowing about an affair and not warning your friend makes you complicit in the betrayal, and in some ways is arguably even worse.  Everyone knows that your partner cheating is a normal risk of marriage, people get tempted or selfish or whatever, but when one of your “ride or die” friends starts playing for the other team?  Wow.[/quote]

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