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[quote=Anonymous]I don't think this is a #metoo situation at all -- just a crappy boyfriend misusing therapy terms to try and get his girlfriend to do what he wanted. I think the texts make me not want to date Jonah Hill, but that wasn't really on the table for me, so oh well.

However, I do think the conversation around this dynamic in relationships has been interesting. I've never been in a romantic relationship like this, but I have had friendships that played out this way. Like people who developed friendships with me (very much from their initiative) and were initially very positive towards me, and then suddenly were trying to tell me that the way I live my life (and lived my life before I even knew them) is incorrect and that I need to change certain behaviors in order to keep their friendship. I can look at it objectively now and see that it was definitely just them trying to exercise control over me and maybe trying to force me to become the kind of person they wanted to be friends with instead of accepting me as I am, but at the time I remember feeling so hurt because it's a terrible feeling to feel like your friends don't really seem to like you? In the end I was able to just walk away, which is easier to do with a friendship than a romantic relationship. But I had a lot of bad feelings from those experiences and thinking about this Jonah Hill situation has helped put it in perspective for me.

In the end I think it comes down to entitlement -- the belief that other people should change to meet your needs, and also the belief that you are even in a position to give another person "feedback" on how to live. I think these are really common attitudes, unfortunately, and that's why a lot of people are identifying with this dynamic. It just feels bad to have someone decide they need you to "fix" yourself in order to earn their love or friendships, especially when who you are was good enough for them to be interested in you initially.[/quote]

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