Reply to We had to move my mom in with us and it may wreck my marriage

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Reply to "We had to move my mom in with us and it may wreck my marriage - advice needed"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow, I can't believe the things people on here have said about taking care of elderly parents. Some of you are cold, cold, cold. I would never let my mother or my mother in law be destitute or homeless and would do anything I could do to help.

That said, no one deserves to be abused by a parent and that is what this mother is doing. I would outline for her the terms of her being able to continue living with us (no hoarding, respectful behavior, boundaries, etc). If she can't honor that, then I would do everything possible to find affordable/subsidized housing. I would not abandon her but I also wouldn't put up with the behavior you are experiencing. You need to have a real and direct conversation with her. Just as you wouldn't put up with certain behaviors from your kids (I would hope not) who live with you, you should apply the same principle with your mom.[/quote]

Totally agree with you. I am not from a culture with intergenerational living, but we have an amazing social network and seniors are taken care of. [b]I would never throw my mom out on the street or drug den at the age of 80.[/b] So cruel and heartless. But also, the mom needs to pull herself together and can’t terrorize the household. Sad that OP doesn’t have satisfying options, despite living in a rich country.[/quote]

That's your personal preference. Different people may have different preferences and you need to respect that.[/quote]

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