Reply to I get upset when high-stakes things go wrong, husband doesn't care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] It is not uncommon for the partner of a catastrophizer to pull in the opposite direction to seek balance.

He was trying to make the best of things. Try it sometime. All you did was guarantee it was going to be a miserable experience. Pouting is never a good look.[/quote]

Yes my spouse is the negative Nellie and always predicting disaster which means I need to counterbalance him. Esp for the sake of the kids. Usually it’s not as we are doing something it’s his predictions (there will be tons of traffic and we won’t make it; it will be too hot and crowded to enjoy; the kids will complain the entire way on the hike: ds wont be able to manage anything that hard etc; if it’s that cheap how do you know the hotel is nice it’s probably a dump ). It’s exhausting to be around such negativity. I was never a positive person but it’s pushed me to take that role for balance [/quote]

I am one of the PPs with a negative Nellie spouse and I relate to this 100%.  It's not just the constant noticing of anything negative (or perceived as negative) but also the predictions, often with hyperbolic language -- "there's zero chance we are going to make it on time."   The predictions are correct less than 50% of the time, but even if correct only 1 out of 10 times, it seems the 10%, rather than the 90%, is what is reinforcing.  It was tougher on the kids when they were younger and couldn't put the exaggeration and negativity in perspective, and I was always trying to finesse a balance.  Exhausting. [/quote]

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