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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m sorry, OP. Sixth grade parent still dealing with this crap and I’m so over it. [/quote]

same happened before here and was part of a group too that wanted to exclude others. Its just so annoying and cant wait to be done with elementary.[/quote]

It gets "better" (/s) in MS and HS - when the same ("I think I'm) "cool" moms try to live vicariously through their daughters, and micromanage the social calendar. Consider yourself warned. [/quote]

Omg the number of moms I see who post pictures of their daughters’ social events, boyfriends, etc etc blows my mind. They are nutso. [/quote]

Omg the number of people posting a picture of what they are eating for dinner blows my mind.

In other words, I don’t see how posting pictures of your kids and friends is any worse, or offensive, or “nutso” than the tons of other stuff people post.  [/quote]

Call me crazy, but I don't think a slice of pizza is having its privacy violated when you post a picture of it.[/quote]

Ha, gotta love the posters who see nothing wrong with posting all about their kids’ and their own social lives on social media. I am understanding now that they really don’t know that other people think they are sad little insecure people. And that they probably think that those of us who don’t post don’t have social lives. 😂[/quote]

Maybe they have their permission.  You don’t know, so why the snark?  I’m not on social media, but if you are- you should stop taking what others post personally or get off.  [/quote]

It doesn’t matter if you have their permission. Why do you need to share about your private social plans with people who weren’t there?? Why can’t you just share with the people who were there, the ones you cared to include? [/quote]

I don’t and I don’t care if others do or don’t.  Their intention is to share pictures of themselves/kids having a good time.  If you are bothered by seeing that, move along.  [/quote]

You say you don't care but seem really intent on defending this unnecessary practice that does affect other people. No matter how many times you tell them to look away. What's it to you if people want to vent about it? If you're not actively doing it they're not talking about you.[/quote]

It’s a delusion. There is no “mom clique.”  So what exactly does OP “hate”? That sometimes people get together without her? Grow up[/quote]

THIS[/quote]

All the context indicates that OP's daughter was pointedly excluded because one or some of the moms do not like OP. Cliquishness is more noticeable to people who are more social (in real life and on the internet) and people who are generally very observant.

People involved in high-demand religions (like Mormonism) or who attend popular mega churches often complain about church cliques. Private schools are also rife with them. They exist in toxic workplaces where nepotism plays a big part in promotion. Posters on this thread trying to gaslight OP are either the usual suspect excluders, or anti-social types who don't notice their surroundings. I am anti-social and not a joiner, but I definitely notice cliques and hangers-on.[/quote]

+1 and to be more explicit: cliques resource hoard. That's the main difference between a clique and a friend group. Friend groups don't have to include everyone, and can be amorphous, and people have to figure out how to deal with their feelings about that.

But a clique operates as a gatekeeper to resources or hierarchies. Parent cliques in elementary schools can be really harmful in this way. There was a strong clique in the PTA at our elementary school made ups of parents of older children, and they'd resource hoard for their kids. I had a child in a class with a bunch of the "younger siblings" from those families, and there were weird things that went on where, for instance, their kids were always selected for extra tutoring from teachers even if the child was testing above grade level. It's not even that I wanted my kid to go in for extra tutoring, but of course this group also became better friends because they spent more time together after school, and the teachers got to know them better because they were tutoring them. It created a caste system among the kids that was disturbing. We left that school to get away from it and my children are so much happier with a lot less social anxiety or stress.

What OP is describing doesn't rise to that level, but the people in this thread who are rolling their eyes at the whole idea of cliques, or that they don't exist in adult communities, are kidding themselves. Either you've been fortunate to avoid communities with cliques, or you are in one and like it how it is. But yes, this happens.[/quote]

OMG, read your post. You sound insane. This was not happening, you just have a chip on your shoulder because your kid wasn't as smart as other kids.[/quote]

Whatever you need to believe, I guess. This sort of thing happens all the time. People become myopic about their kids and a lot of people lack the self-awareness to understand when they are abusing power. I've also known people on the PTA to justify stuff like this to themselves because it's how they "pay" themselves back for the time they donate to the PTA. They view this sort of advantage as one of the "perks" of the job.[/quote]

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