Reply to S/O What are the major parenting "you do what??" triggers

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]-Sleep training or not
-Freedoms that are seen as dangerous and the various ages when they’re allowed. Walking to school without a parent, staying home alone, going to the playground without a parent, taking the bus without a parent, etc, etc.

And I’ve never seen this in real life, but here on DCUM, shower/bath frequency is one that evokes heated responses. [/quote]

Those shower/bath threads make me laugh because I'll be nodding along like "yeah, once a week is too infrequent, that's gross" and then someone will be like "my children bathe twice a day and must change their clothes immediately upon entering the house from outside" and suddenly the once-a-week parents seem chill and reasonable. Perspective is everything.[/quote]

I’m a parent that makes their kids change when they come in the house and I know it makes me seem over the top.  Our playground has a sandbox and lots of mulch and I just think it’s easier to immediately change than vacuum it up later in the spare time that I don’t have.  I know it seems extreme but it’s seriously so much easier to keep it out of the house than to clean it up later.  But yeah I’m sure many people think I’m nuts.[/quote]

But that's specific thing to you -- you aren't advocating that everyone change clothes the minute they come home, you just understandably don't want sand and mulch all over the house.

It's the prescriptive attitudes that turn this stuff into triggers. Lots of people are capable of making a choice for their own family but recognize that others might make other choices and it's not a big deal. That's how I feel about a lot of this stuff, including hot button topics like SAHP/two working parents, breastfeeding, sleep training, screentime, etc. I know what works for us and our kids, I assume other parents can figure it out for themselves, we don't have to do the same stuff.

It's only when another parents' choices make my life harder that I feel triggered. So for instance, if you were telling people that my family is "dirty" because we don't all change clothes upon entering our home, I'd take issue. Likewise, I think cell phones/social media for tweens/teens is a big one because if another family starts allowing that before you are ready to, it's going to make it a lot more work for you to hold the line (and also make you start to question your choices if it starts to impact your child's social life).

As long as you aren't judging other families for not doing exactly what you do, it's not a trigger, it's just a different choice and it's fine.[/quote]

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