Reply to Any all-boy moms wistful about not having a daughter?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Day to day - no regrets.

Long term - yes. In all but 2 families I've ever known, a son is a son until he takes a wife. Even true in my extended family where everyone gets along well with their DILs. It's just that men tend to move closer to their wives' parents, if that's what the wives want - many wives want that - and bam you have grandparents that are day to day involved (or at least weekly) and of course the kids will be closer. This is even true where the son is great about making plans about seeing his side, doesn't leave it all to his wife; there simply isn't a replacement for being the parents that are local and involved.

The 2 families where the couple/kids are closer to the husband's parents - one is of a culture where they do generational living and his parents decided they were moving in, he was never going to say no to his parents, and his wife didn't like it but being of that culture she knew his parents came before HER. It's a sad situation, we're not of that culture, and it's not a situation we'd want with our sons anyway.

The other family - both sides are local but the couple quickly realized that HIS parents were young retirees and more available to chase the children, whereas her parents were still working and thus weren't just randomly available for preschool pickup or whatever. So the couple quickly got closer with his mom and dad for the help they'd provide, the kids grew close to them, and now his parents are the A grandparents.

In all other families I know, it's about the wife's side. [b]And given what I've seen of our DS' few early relationships and how they are invested in being the nice guys we raised them to be, they are quick to put their GFs' wants over theirs -[/b] so even now if the GF wants to spend time at her family's house this weekend, they do that. Right now we can tell them - nope sorry we expect you home with us for x, but we obviously understand we won't be doing that with grown men once they're out of their teens and in serious relationships.[/quote]

Being nice doesn't equal being a doormat. Being nice means learning how to be nice to others AND nice to yourself.

Now it may be that your boys won't mind not seeing you, so won't assert themselves when their wives want to see their own families. That's a different issue.[/quote]

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