Reply to Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?

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Reply to "Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Custody agreements are unenforceable. What are you going to do, sedate the child to transport them if they refuse to go see the other parent? Physically grab them?[/quote]

As a parent you enforce the schedule just like you do school and homework.  [/quote]

If you get to high school, and your relationship with your kids is such that you think someone needs to force them to see you, you've done the whole parenting thing wrong.

Not forcing a child is not alienation.  [/quote]

So, if your child says they will not go to school or do their homework, you don't enforce that?  Sounds like a cop out to parenting and why your kids don't respect you.[/quote]

I would enforce those things because I believe they are important and in my DC's best interest. I also believe that if my DC chooses not to have a relationship with DC's father, DC has very good reasons for that choice and it's understandable. I don't stand in the way, but I'm not going to sacrifice my relationship with my child to coerce them into spending time with someone who treats them badly. If DC's father wants to come over and coerce DC into spending time with him, DC's father can go right ahead. I make sure we are home so that DC's father has that opportunity. My ex is so litigious that I always, always hit my marks when it comes to custody agreement stuff. If a phone call is required, I make sure that it occurs and that the phone call is open for the mandated time, even if DC chooses not to speak any words over the phone. But I am not willing to punish or physically coerce DC (not that I even could at this point). The poor relationship with DC's father is the result of the father's life choices, and he can earn a better relationship if he chooses. Or, if he thinks it's so easy to coerce a teenager, he can come right over and do it.[/quote]

You very much influence your child's feelings and relationships.  You also forget not all Dad's are your ex and are good loving Dads, and in some situations much better parents than the mothers.  Why would you marry and have a child with someone like that?  So, stop projecting your poor choices on others to prevent those fathers from having a relationship.  You are going to seriously screw up your kid.[/quote]

Come on over and parent the kid, then. Have an awesome time. If you're so great, the kid will perceive it by how you behave during your parenting time. You can be in charge of the homework and the chores and take them to all their activities and remind them to shower and do their laundry and listen to them complain about everything and let them eat all of the food in your house. Go right ahead. I'd love the weekend off. I'm just not willing to physically coerce my child into doing it, because if we get into a wrestling match I doubt I would win. So you can come on over and do things your way. Best of luck![/quote]

You mean all the things and more I do for my kids?   Send him over.   [/quote]

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