Reply to So tired of MIL acting like she’s the hostess in my home

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm guessing that in your MIL's mind she's just trying to be helpful and feels guilty that she is not hosting (even if she doesn't actually want to be hosting).  Maybe she's just bored sitting around your house and is trying to busy herself.  It doesn't make it less annoying.  I think you just need to keep running interference and not let it get you upset.  It helps me deal with my parents/ILs annoying behaviors to just expect them and decide in advance not to let it bother me.

[b]And since OP is getting some flack I'll add that generally 5pm is when we serve drinks and cheese/crackers too.  That's also how my parents entertain.  My Dad has been known to watch the clock and will have martinis made by 5:01.[/b]  [/quote]

So many people on here argue just to be contrary. The people who insist that in order to be a decent host, OP must offer a full bar from the moment her guests arrive are likely the same people who in another thread will be scolding people that any amount of alcohol consumption is a sign of alcoholism. It’s perfectly alright, and likely quite common, to refrain from offering booze until 5. [/quote]

A good host makes guests comfortable. Not impose their morality. Why not give guests what they would like?[/quote]

Waiting until 5 to offer drinks isn’t imposing morality. I’m simply saying that it’s not freaky weird to not start drinking until 5. If someone came to my house in mid-afternoon, I’d probably offer them coffee or tea, and cake. It would be a bit rude for them to ask for something that wasn’t offered, whether it was wine or Wheat Thins.[/quote]

Then your kitchen isn’t open is it? [/quote]

Well, I guess I’m talking about an hours-long visit, not a multi-day visit. If someone were staying with me, yes, they’d be free to help themselves, but I would be very surprised if they began to defrost steaks and open sealed bottles of whisky. When I stay at my MIL’s at Xmas, I always ask her before eating anything unopened, just in case she has it earmarked for a particular meal. This just seems polite to me. It’s how I was raised.[/quote]

Weird you jumped to sealed bottles of whiskey and steak and not the equivalent of wine and beer and crackers. Your point isn’t really that strong is it? Shouldn’t need to wildly embellish.[/quote]

Wine is often far costlier than whisky. [/quote]

People who have expensive wine have lots of it and can spare a bottle. They would have a case or more. This doesn’t track.[/quote]

People who have expensive wine are more particular about what bottle you take, in my experience. My cousin has a massive wine cellar but I don’t dare touch it, lest I drink some $500 bottle that he’s planning to drink in 2035. [/quote]

Theres no chance mil went into a cellar and grabbed the one bottle designated for dinner. It was clearly left out somewhere.[/quote]

Yeah, because it was going to be used in 2 hours...[/quote]

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