Reply to NOT redshirting an August birthday

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Reply to "NOT redshirting an August birthday"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time. [/quote]

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.[/quote]

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew. [/quote]

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you. [/quote]

Spoken like someone with a December birthday. Newsflash: Summer birthdays will either be the youngest or the oldest. Your bully of a child will pick on someone for being the youngest too. I’d prefer oldest, obviously some people here prefer youngest. YMMV.[/quote]

No one in my house has a December birthday and my child isn’t a bully. Project much?[/quote]

Spoken like someone with a bully of a child. [/quote]

Look, I am sorry that the truth hurts. Neither I nor anyone in my family would bully someone, but I definitely saw it happen and what I posted reflects what most people think. We all know that you had to give your kid an advantage by making them a year older than their classmates. All of a sudden, an average student seems super smart because they are a year ahead in development. You think you found a short cut, but you didn't. [/quote]

Your truth isn't everybody's truth. I have never seen what you're talking about. If you think people are short changing their kids, why on earth do you care so much?  Is it an advantage or not because you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. Make up your mind and then maybe your point will make sense.[/quote]

Let me dumb it down for you. If you red shirt your kid, people are absolutely judging you and them and talking behind your back. Some of that may bleed into how the other kids treat your kid at school. But probably no one is going to say anything to you as the parent, we will just be thinking it. But this is an anonymous forum so people can say what they really think. [/quote]

Just because you are judgemental doesn’t mean everyone is. I mean an immature redshirted late august kid will be only a few months older than the rest of the fall birthday kids - it won’t be noticiable and most parents are too stressed with their own lives to care not to mention judge.  It is way better to redshirt than to be forced to hold a kid back when they are older that is much more notícible and yes kids may judge. [/quote]

Yes, its noticed because they are immature for their age and not in an age appropriate grade, so its very noticeable.[/quote]

That makes no sense. If they are redshirted then it doesn’t matter if they were immature for their age they are now mature enough by starting with a younger cohort. That’s the whole point of redshirting. Sending them with a cohort that they blend in well with Versus one they are too immature for. I can tell you it’s the kids who skip grades who are noticibly immature. I went to high school with some 12 year olds and being super smart does not make one socially mature.  (Im a mid August birthday btw and no issues with being one of the youngest in my class.) [/quote]

You cannot make a child more mature by changing their grade.  Maturity is by age, not grade.  [/quote]

Well if someone is immature for their age e.g. a 5 y.o that has the maturity level of a four year old - they will not seem immature in a group of 4 year olds. They will seem immature in a group of five year olds. Thus while redshirting does not help them be more mature for their age it helps them by making their lack if maturity invisible in a younger age cohort.   The red shirted kid will not seem immature in the younger cohort and fit better in with younger peers.

The kids who skip a grade or two May not be immature for their age but will seem immature in a cohort of kids 2 years older than they are (like the 12 year olds in ninth grade)

[/quote]

Possibly. Though it can depend on their physical maturity, too. One fear I have with redshirting, especially if you do it in a school where it's not common, is that eventually your 5 year old will be 13, and being a full year ahead of peers during puberty can be incredibly hard. Just throwing that out there. I think it's especially hard for girls but some boys are also pretty uncomfortable being the outlier.

I'd also note that one reason people dislike redshirting is that they don't want their kids to be in middle school with 14 year olds just because that 14 year old's parents though he was too small or young to attend Kindergarten on time.

There are good reasons to keep the vast majority of kids with an age cohort where the age is consistently within a 12 month span, so that they hit physical and maturity milestones at roughly the same time. If a child is significantly advanced or delayed outside the normal range of development for that 12 month span, that's an argument for redshirting or skipping a grade. But doing it as a matter of course really messes with the dynamics of the grade. And doing it selfishly to get your kid an advantage is honestly just unkind.[/quote]

Full disclosure my kid has a May birthday (and is 97th percentile in height) so the decision to redshirt is not one I will be personally making.

However I think the maturity difference is so much more critical in kindergarten/1st grade than in middle school. I totally get why parents don’t want their child to be the immature behavioral disruptive kid in 1st grade because that can set the whole tone of their education, attitude towards teachers and learning and habe long term effects on their education.

In contrast as a parent, I don’t care that some kid will be 8.5 months older than my kid rather than 3.5 months younger. (Which is what redshirting a late August birthday means)  and it benefits all the kids in the class to have everyone mature enough to learn.  The fewer behavioral issues due to immaturity the more the teacher can focus on teaching.

Puberty hits at sich a wide age range (like several years range) so you already have kids who hit puberty a couple years apart.

OP should do what is best for her kid today (although not clear that would be redshirting - seems a little early to tell.)) [/quote]

Come MS and HS many classes are mixed ages/grades so some of it is also silly then too.  My 9th grader will take math with 10-11th graders.  Same in MS, they took math with HS level kids.  [/quote]

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