Reply to How do you stay married to an ASD HFA Aspergers husband?

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[quote=Anonymous]I know this is not easy to hear but to be happy adjusting your expectations is key. People who have been diagnosed late in middle age have not had the benefit of years of therapy, speech, social skills group, etc... that kids these days can do to be in a better spot in adulthood.

If he truly accepts his diagnosis and is willing to work on themselves individually and with a martial counselor that has ASD experience possible improvements can be made. A lot of times that is not the case.

As mentioned, if he has any other conditions like sleep apnea which can lead to irritability/depression, high blood pressure, depression/anxiety get those conditions adequately treated so it doesn't worsen the ASD behaviors.

Be very direct in what you want and how you want it. Give praise for the things he does well. If you feel you are at a point of divorce, he may finally be willing to work on some things but you also need to be prepared to follow through if he doesn't.

Happiness as a whole in life can come from many different parts. For some, a spouse is a big part. For ASD partners, you have to find happiness/peace more in other areas. Over time, I learned that's ok. That's just how the cards play out in life for some people.[/quote]

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