Reply to DH won't use any inheritance for a house

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you're reasonable OP! I think there are a lot of SN moms on this board and their feelings are clouding their judgement. This SN brother has a large inheritance and another one coming to him. Surely he also get social security disability?

OP maybe you could look at larger homes that have an inlaw suite for brother in case he needs it? Maybe then your dh would use his inheritance.

I do think it's selfish he won't use his inheritance and expects you to use yours.[/quote]

Could be...I am an SN parent and would cut out this woman in a minute.
[/quote]

You are a special needs parent--not a sibling.  There have been comments from several SN siblings and their responses have been very helpful as they understand the burden that this is.  To pretend that they are saints and it's not a tremendous burden is just BS.  Siblings do not carry the same responsibility as parents do.  [/quote]

+100. Parents should never burden their healthy children with the responsibility for their siblings. They have their own lives to live (and being the healthy child in a family with a sibling with a mental illness comes with a lot of sadness and trauma.) Parents, likes OPs DHs parents, who refuse to see what is going on and don't make a reasonable plan, are guilty of a huge dereliction of duty.[/quote]

So who should be burdened with responsibility for the SN sibling once the parents are gone?  Because I know what choice I would make if it was between dignified care for my spouse’s sibling and a bigger/fancier house for me.[/quote]

Let's be clear, this brother isn't SN, he's a drug addict. You don't want that anywhere near your home or marriage.

He goes to a fine treatment in patient facility as many times as he needs to to get sober.[/quote]

I’m not sure about being addict, but he’s a violent schizophrenic so not someone I’d put my life savings to personally… [/quote]

“Mentally ill relatives should die in the gutter” isn’t a good look. [/quote]

Knock it off. Seriously I posted upthread that I am in OP’s husband’s shoes. He is no better than she is, sitting by passively and only being willing to throw money at the issue. He isn’t a good brother. If OP said he tried to help repeated over the years and failed, that would be one thing, but it sounds like he wants to keep his brother at arms length, both now and in the future.

Again, under-medicating a schizophrenic is incredibly dangerous.[/quote]

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