Reply to S/O How do you justify having an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]ABC cared because their employees and America cared.  I mean if you don’t care what others think just keep doing you without trying to justify lying and sneaking around.  I mean if you don’t care, why are you hiding in the shadows? Is it because whoever you are banging doesn’t want anyone to see you? Are you that hideous?  I mean, why not just tell the guy’s wife?  It doesn’t matter right? Or are you afraid to do that because he will dump you and call you a psycho?  I guess I don’t understand people that can’t find D that is available.  [/quote]

Its often about the lifestyle and money, as PP noted. My exH AP was his direct subordinate at work, dependent on him with her salary, consulting contracts and so on. It happens more often than you think: married men don't get laid for free[/quote]

In fact, sometimes it is about the money for the cheater too. I slept regularly with my now ex. I thought we had a frequent and satisfying sex life for both of us. He never expressed any concerns.  However, when he cheated, I found emails to the AP about how he wasn’t in live, was just staying with me for the kids, etc.  maybe he was lying to her; maybe he was lying to me. Most likely - he was lying to both of us. In retrospect, I think he just partnered with me foe the money. I earned the same or slightly more than he did when we met, but it was clear I would go to grad school in a high paying path.

Unfortunately for him, I found out he was cheating just before I started on the high paying path and kicked him out.  He dated around until he found another highly paid professional with a wealthy family. They married but, sadly for him, she made him sign a pre-nup and she forces him to spend at her level, which he can’t afford, so he is always stressed.

For many other cheaters, they justify cheating by saying they don’t wang to lose their money in divorce. [/quote]

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