Reply to Should a sympathy card include money? If so how much?

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[quote=Anonymous]At the time my father died, my mother had been a SAHM & home-maker for nearly 30 years so she had no work experience and had to suddenly get two low paying jobs to support herself and her children.  My father was 53 and had just cancelled his term life insurance a month prior to being killed unexpectedly in a work accident.  We were always comfortable but not wealthy, there was a good amount of savings and various types of accounts (401k/IRA etc.) but she would need that money for her own retirement still so suddenly her entire life and financial situation changed.  I was old enough (17) to already have a part-time job while I was finishing HS and entering college so I was able to contribute and help her when it was needed, but we got a bunch of those Catholic Mass cards, and like somebody said in an earlier post, those cost about $25 each and I'm sure my mother would have rather gotten the cash and said her own prayer in HER church, or in her own way instead.  Each of those Mass cards could have allowed her to work about 2 hours less and instead spend that time grieving for her husband of nearly 30 years, taking care of her family, or just spending time with her loved ones who were also grieving.

I know people mean well by having a Mass said for the deceased but that is the most useless thing you can do to show your support or express your sympathy for the grieving family, especially if they don't even belong to that particular church/faith/group.  The ones recieved by my family were all from various Catholic Churches in our area, usually the church that they went to.  My father was not overly religious but he belonged to a Lutheran church and had not been a practicing Catholic since he graduated HS.

Those sympathy cards that included Mass cards were essentially empty... just like so many of you prefer. :)

Final thought, the people that can't comrehend why you should give money in a sympathy card must have been very lucky and had to experience losing anybody young, unexpected, or close to them.

I am very jealous of you, but I wish you would put some more thought into this and hopefully you will reconsider. 
 Spending $50 on flowers or "appropriate" gifts is fine, but if you give cash the recipient can use that money for what they actually need or want since they have a better understanding of what that is, or even donate it to the charity, cause, or church of THEIR choice.

AND STOP BEING SO OFFENDED BY EVERYTHING, if somebody gives you a gift, any kind of gift including money, it wasn't meant to insult you, its a GIFT and was meant to show you they care and are thinking of you.

Fin.[/quote]

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