Reply to If H takes this job, it’s going to break me.

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[quote=Anonymous]
NP. Admit I have not read every post so if this has come up already, I apologize to OP. Focusing on one single part of the OP's initial post, and it isn't the chores:

This new position would require work travel. That will make the domestic issues, and associated tension, a thousand times worse as you'll be entirely on your own (though you could argue that you're effectively 100 percent doing everything as it is, with him present). Then add in: There's zero pay raise for at least six months because this is a trial period, so, you can't start outsourcing because you haven't got the money now and won't have any more money for at least that six-month period. Your tension will be off the charts compared to what it is now. And like I said -- I'm not even here to talk about the chores. From how you describe your DH overall, OP, I would be concerned that eventually, work travel is going to end with his having a one night stand, multiple one night stands, or an affair. I'm sorry to introduce that idea on top of the household issues. But he sounds as if he will start to view work travel as a blissful break from domesticity, chore cards, "notes," kids and wife, and to be blunt, that's when some men compartmentalize and have sex while on travel. I don't have a solution for you other than intensive couples therapy that should have happened long ago, and now won't happen because...work travel.

Also, your first post immediately made me think: What effing employer says "You'll do this high-pressure job for six months and in that time you get NO extra compensation because this is a trial period"? I'm sure it happens. But that doesn't mean an employee should put up with it. I get it, this could lead to big things but it sounds almost abusive to me. I don't know what industry he's in but honestly, if he were right for this promotion he'd be given the damn promotion outright without all this "trial" crap. I'm sorry. It sounds as if his employer is going to take advantage of him for six months and wring him out with zero guarantee of this job being permanent. If DH doesn't get the job permanently, he'll be sure to take it out on you at home.

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