Reply to Dax Tejera’s widow’s arrest for child endangerment

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is crazy! You don’t leave your young kids/babies in a hotel room by themselves so you can go out for dinner.  There are no excuses for this!  It was a stupid and careless parenting decision.

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I wouldn't do this because I'd be stressed the whole time about something like this happening but honestly I don't think that badly of her. They were a block away from the hotel and had cameras on the kids. They were not in any danger if they were asleep and not in any more danger then they'd be in their own home on another floor. [/quote]

No sorry being a block away in a whole other building while your kids are presumably several floors up is not at all the same as different part of the house. Not at all.

How quickly could you get to them in a fire? How many hotel staff have keys to that room? What if they get sick and the building elevators aren’t working? It’s just a huge amount of response time required to get back versus walking upstairs in your own house. 
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The only one of these things that is actually concerning is the fire. And while its concerning, there are plenty of situations where my kids are far enough away from me where if a fire spontaneously broke out I wouldn't be able to get to them. Normal situations. I don't live my life taking extreme precautions based on highly unlikely outcomes. I understand some people think this is insane but honestly they have a camera on them and I imagine they could, if running, be back to the room in 3 minutes. And the stairs work even if the elevator doesn't. No kid is harmed from crying for a few minutes. And if they get sick (suddenly?!) in such a dramatic fashion that would alert me if I was in the room, like vomiting I guess? Then that would be evident on camera. But honestly my 3/5/7 year old are DEAD TO THE WORLD when they fall asleep. I could 100% leave the house to go run an errand and have no one be the wiser and no one endangered.

I do think leaving the hotel is a little much but if they were eating in the hotel restaurant would people be saying this? I dunno I just can't get onboard with demonizing this they were close and had a camera. [/quote]

What's more likely than something happening to the kids is something happening to the parents.  Like they fall down and hit their head, they get hit by a car, they get detained for some reason, etc etc etc or how about they have a heart attack?  What if it had just been him in charge of the kids, wife was out with her girlfriends somewhere else?  Who would have known that he was monitoring the kids on his camera?

Simply not worth the risk and not that hard to make other arrangements.  Well, if you really care about your kids that is.[/quote]

What if he’d done this solo and had the heart attack and died?

This is also why you can never leave a child in a car alone. Not just because something might happen to them—because something might happen TO YOU.[/quote]

But this is just as much a risk in a home. That’s what I don’t understand. If I was home alone watching my kids and I had a heart attack like this guy and dropped dead they would eventually wake up to find me. Or wake up and turn the stove on or the hot water or anything else. Anytime a single parent is caretaking children for many hours this is a risk. Now I agree that the risk is harder to quantify in a situation like this because people might not know where the kids are. But honestly there are horrific stories of children who are in apartments for days after a tragedy.

I’m not like, trying to weirdly go to bat for these people. They made a decision I would not have made, and likely the mom here learned this lesson in the worst and most traumatic way possible. But I think that parents are routinely vilified because we act like anything short of constant vigilance is adequate. But it’s not really healthy or practical. It’s either dangerous or it’s not. All of us want to say that a poor woman leaving her kids napping to run to the store for dinner after working a double shift should be forgiven. But these people are grossly negligent. I don’t think either party is grossly negligent. I think both correctly evaluated the actual risk and made a choice. In my opinion the risk that comes from being found out is far more potent and why I personally would not do this. Because truly the practical danger of having dinner while watching your kids on a camera 5 minutes away on foot is not significant.[/quote]

100% agree with you. Great response.[/quote]

Do you know anything about a 5 month old infant?[/quote]

I actually think the 2 year old is a bigger deal. The five month old can’t walk itself out of the room. They can listen for crying and go to the five month old. [b]Nothing bad is happening to it in a hotel room unless the parents don’t come when it cries.[/b][/quote]

Lying on its back, it could spit up and choke.

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I have had three babies and never had a single incident where my not ill child spontaneously started choking while asleep. You put babies on their backs to ensure they have good airflow. There is a massive safety campaign encouraging people to put babies on their backs specifically because babies do not die if they are on their back. And if I had been asleep when that happened, I wouldn't know anyway. [/quote]

You don’t get it and your kids are lucky to survive. [/quote]

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